James Potter and the Taken Girl
by talulahbridge
Summary: Time away from home has made James miss his family terribly but how has this affected them? A child letting her guard down leads to a terrible ordeal and wakes others up to their true feelings.  Can James and Holly survive the turmoil in fron of them?
1. Chapter 1

**Not been on here for a while (very busy!) but thought it was about time to publish again. The end of the era with the last film has stirred my creative writing side again because I just need more! To those of you who have read other James stories, this continues a little later on than the the last one! For those who haven't this follows on from: James Potter and the Hidden Girl and james Potter and the Jealous girl.**

**Would love to hear reviews if anyone has the time!**

Chapter 1

James Sirius Potter stared at the moving photograph in his hand and smiled at the family waving up at him. It was a picture in which he was sat in the middle on a picnic blanket with his arm draped over the shoulder of his beautiful wife, Holly, who he thought he was more in love with now than the day they had got married. Standing behind James with her hands on his shoulders was his first born daughter, Isabella, who had been seven when the photograph was taken two years ago. Kneeling beside his mother with a gentle smile on his face was their second born, Daniel, who was now seven. Finally on the carpet in front of them all were their triplets, Millie, Ellie and Arthur. After discovering she was carrying triplets just over three years ago, when they decided to have another baby, Holly had been adamant that there were to be no more and after they had arrived James fully agreed.

They were toddling about in their terrible twos at the moment and James missed them so much that his heart ached; he missed them all so much that his heart ached everyday and he wasn't sure if gazing at the picture of them all looking so happy was a help or a hindrance. He had been out on assignment for nearly six months now and had had only a days leave to see his family in all that time. Before this assignment was given to him he had only been back from a three month stint for two weeks and so he felt as if he was missing out on so much of his children's lives. Of course he was working hard and capturing various wizards who had evaded the ministry for decades but he was getting rather tired of being a senior auror as it took him away from those he loved too much. When Isabella and Daniel had been born his missions were usually shorter and he had had more time between them but in the last two and a half years since the triplets were born it just seemed to be one thing after another and he knew that Holly was baring the brunt of bringing up their children alone.

Holly had been patient with him for so long and he appreciated every minute she put into caring for his children; but on his last day's leave he had noticed something different about her. She had seemed quieter than usual and keen to avoid him which had made him worry. He had tried to joke that the last time she was like that with him it was because she was pregnant and her blunt response had been, "Well that's hardly likely to happen with you never being here is it?" He had not tried to push the topic knowing he was only there for the day but in the last couple of months as he had missed them all more and more he had decided to ask Beerney for some leave so he could spend time with them all. His boss had granted him two months leave but could not afford to spare him any longer so he had jumped at the offer deciding not to let his family know as he wanted to surprise them when he got home. Now he was counting down the days as he stared at the photograph knowing it was getting closer and closer by the minute.

The assignment was still ongoing and Beerney had had to organise an auror to take over for the two months stint; Jordan Knight, who had become a senior auror a few years ago was to take his place but the paperwork needed to be completed first and then James had to spend a couple of days catching him up on their movements so far. It was necessary so he was being as patient as possible but even four more days seemed like an eternity.

It was late at night and he was settling down to sleep in a bunk above his brother in law, Raulph Krum, who was also missing his small family. He and Lily had married seven years ago and had only had one child, Roberto who was now almost four. In another bunk nearby two other aurors were sleeping and James listened to them snoring as he concentrated on his family picture once more. Behind the waving happy people he could see his home in the background on top of Tan Pit Hill; once Daniel had arrived they had needed a bigger place than the flat and had found a crumbling old mill on the hill and turned it into Mill Cottage. It was quaint and made of seventeenth century stone cut in different shapes and sizes and he and Holly had enjoyed lovingly restoring it and extending it into a seven bedroomed home. They had decorated it cosily and turned it into a real family centred place where the children and their cousins could play and be safe, always.

Looking at it now he could hardly wait to be there again and take a stroll around the large walled garden with Holly, which they had planted with their children over the years. They grew many of their own fruits and vegetables in it but also had splendid flower beds which his wife tended as often as she could; it was beautiful and he loved it as much as he loved the six people waving up at him from its forefront. Sighing deeply he placed the photo down and turned onto his side to try and sleep; thoughts of sharing a warm bed with his wife helped him drift off eventually into a sleep filled with dreams of her and their children.

"So you're all set on everything Jordan?" James asked, "I can sign it all over to you?" he added excitedly three days later. Filling in the adept auror had not taken very long and James now felt like an excited child on Christmas Day because he could leave earlier than planned and surprise his family not only be turning up before they had expected him but also with the news that it was for two months this time.

"Go James," Jordan replied with a smile, "enjoy some time with Holly and the tribe!"

"Cheers!" he answered clapping his colleague on the back and apparating out with a huge smile on his face.

After an hour filling in more necessary paperwork at the auror department he was free to go home and with a handshake from Terence Beerney he was ordered to take a well earned rest and not to visit the ministry unless they called him on an emergency. "Which we will try not to," he added walking him to the department entrance and seeing him onto a lift. Deciding to approach the house from outside, rather than the floo, he apparated to the gate in the high wall which surrounded it all, and slowly opened it with a creak.

He could see the triplets running around on the grass with Daniel and marvelled at how much they had changed since he had seen them; at the sound of the creaking gate a long crop of dark brown hair turned to face it and James saw Isabella's face light up. "Daddy," she squealed jumping up from the blanket she was playing on and bounding across the lawn in his direction; at her words the triplets and Daniel, who had been kicking a ball around, turned to look and then ran after her in the direction of the gate.

"Hey Flower," he replied with a wide grin lifting Isabella up in his arms and swinging her around before enfolding her in a tight hug, "Oh Daddy missed you so much," he added as she giggled and he kissed her forehead.

"Daddy, Daddy, Daddy," Arthur chirped as he flung himself at his father's leg and James dropped Isabella back on her feet so he could hug them all in turn and squeeze them lovingly.

"Have you three grown again?" he asked looking at the three toddlers who giggled back.

"We're nearly three Daddy," Millie explained with a proud expression, "Mummy says we are growing up."

"And you are," he replied ruffling her hair and then turning to Daniel who was holding onto Ellie's hand. She had always been the shiest of his children and whenever he came home from a long assignment had generally taken a couple of hours before she remembered exactly who he was. "And so are you Daniel," James went on gently nipping his cheek, "you could almost be the man of the house!"

"Mummy says I am when you are away," he answered in the same proud tone that Millie had used, "but now you're back I can be a little boy again."

"You can," he chuckled. "Where is Mummy?" he asked them all and they turned their head simultaneously in the direction of the house where he could see the side door into the kitchen wide open.

"She's baking bread," Isabella explained, "come on," she added tugging on her father's arm excitedly and dragging him in the direction of the door. She was old enough now to sense when things were affecting her parents and she knew her mother had been sad for a while, Isabella was hoping that once their father was home she would be able to cheer up a little and she was desperate for him to see her.

"Shhh," James whispered to them when he saw Holly had her back to the door and was humming a tune as she kneaded some bread. They all nodded at him and hung back as he crept on his tiptoes into the house and over to their mother.

"Isabella?" Holly called as she heard the footsteps but she did not turn round. Assuming it was just her daughter she continued to knead the dough on the counter top and gasped when a pair of hands slid around her waist.

"Hello Pretty girl," James whispered in her ear as his arms tightened their hold around her and he felt her jump.

"J…James," she faltered lifting her hands up to his and releasing his hold on her, "what…what are you doing here? I thought you weren't due home until tomorrow."

"I got away early," he replied as she turned around in his arms to face him. He couldn't wait any longer to kiss her and placed his lips gently against hers as the children cheered from the doorway. She pulled out of the kiss when they had barely touched each other and he frowned at her but Ellie used that moment to come toddling into the room and Holly slipped out of his arms to pick her up.

"Have you said hello to Daddy?" she asked smiling at her daughter and turning to look at the other children still hanging in the doorway; they all nodded their heads at her, "Good, isn't it a surprise that he came home early?" she asked and they nodded again enthusiastically.

"Can we go back outside and play now?" Millie asked tapping her mother's leg and smiling serenely at her.

"Of…of course," she replied with a smile. "Just stay where I can see you," she added as she put Ellie back on her feet and walked over to the sink to wash her hands. "Isabella, make sure they don't wonder off."

"Yes Mummy." She smiled sweetly before running to give her father another crushing hug and then skipped out of the door with an extra spring in her step; she was happy when her Dad was home and hoped her mother would be happier now too.

"So, what happened?" Holly asked turning from the sink and heading back to the counter where she dropped the kneaded dough into a bread tin and placed it into the oven.

"It didn't take me long to hand over to Jordan; he's been following the case anyway from the ministry so he knew most of what was going on."

"Hand over?" she asked quizzically finally turning to face him but standing at the opposite end of the kitchen, "Why did you hand over? I thought this was just a quick visit."

"I asked Beerney for some leave," he explained taking a step in her direction, "Jordan has taken over so I can spend some time at home, with you," he finished slipping a hand gingerly onto her waist and pulling her forwards.

"How…how long?" she asked stepping into his embrace which he folded around her so she was close to his face.

"Two months," he answered with a smile.

"Oh," she responded looking away from his face; it wasn't the reaction he had expected her to give to the news but then he had sprung it on her unexpectedly. "That was good of him," she went on as he pulled her closer and pressed his lips against hers again. She kissed him back this time but drew away before he had chance to deepen it by pushing his tongue into her mouth. "I should…I should get on," she said quietly gesturing to the mess in the kitchen made by the bread she had been preparing, "that lot will want feeding soon and I need to tidy up."

"Do you want me to do anything?" he asked feeling a little sloughened that she wanted to clean up and not spend some time with him but he remembered how strange it usually was when he came home after a long assignment. As his father had done before him James always felt a little like an intruder in his own home for a couple of days as the rest of his family went on with their everyday lives in the house.

"No, I'll be fine, thanks," she replied pulling out of his arms and setting about the mess, "why don't you go and sort out some of your things? I suppose I'll have work robes to wash?" she went on with a small smile.

"Well…" he admitted thinking about the full bag of dirty laundry he had left at the gate when Isabella ran up to him, "there are a few things!" he chuckled and she offered him a small smile.

"Drop them in the laundry basket," she said as she picked up a cloth and started to wipe down the counter top where she had been working.

"I missed you," he whispered in her ear as he passed by and squeezed her waist.

"I know," she replied stopping for a second as he moved to kiss her cheek; then she watched and sighed as he set off into the back garden for his kit bag, kicking the ball away from the children as he did so and engaging in a short game with them.

From the blanket Isabella watched them and chuckled at her strong and loving father who was the most important man in her life; then she jumped up and left the toys she was playing with to join in the game which turned into a low height quidditch game when James found his broom in the shed.

From the kitchen window Holly watched them as she washed the pots she had used for baking; the children were so happy to have their father back and were enjoying playing with him in the garden. One at a time he sat them on his broom and took them for a whizz around the garden while they threw the quaffle back and forth; every so often he would get them to throw it at a goal and he would help the child on his broom to stop it before they could score.

Ellie seemed to relax a little more when he picked her up and held her on the broom; Holly saw her chuckle with a wide smile when James whizzed her to the bottom of the garden and stopped Arthur from scoring by catching the quaffle with her hands in his. She looked happy and comfortable with him already and Holly was glad about that; they all looked to be having fun and she smiled at her gleeful children before dropping her mouth into a frown when she looked up at her husband. James Potter had been the love of her life, the man who had made her happier than she had ever thought it possible to be; he had given her the five amazing people out on the lawn with him now and she would always love him for that. The problem was, she didn't know how she felt about him at the moment,;as he played out there making the children happy she wondered why the scene was only making her smile because of them and not because of him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

James came running into the kitchen after half an hour of playing carrying a screaming Arthur in his arms. Ellie had accidentally tripped him up on the lawn and he had landed on a sharp twig which had given him a shallow but painful scratch on his calf. The other children came running in after him and he sat his youngest son on a chair in the front of the fireplace; Holly immediately rushed over to comfort her son and with her wand sealed up the wound which throbbed on his leg. He stopped crying after a few moments and she picked him up for a cuddle which James watched with a dopey grin, she was so good with the children and he liked to watch her with them; it was another thing he realised he had missed and something he wanted to see a lot of in the next few months. "Shhh," she crooned rocking him gently from side to side and then she turned to the other two youngest children and said, "I think it's nap time for you three," and she held out her hand for one of them. Ellie took it and Millie followed along behind as they walked in the direction of the crooked winding staircase which led up to the first floor of the house.

After watching them go James suggested a quiet game of wizards chess to his other two offspring who asked if they could play together against him. "Sure," he replied heading to a pine welsh dresser by the kitchen door which was piled high with rose patterned china.

He leaned down to open the cupboard but Isabella stopped him as she said, "Mum made us put them all upstairs in our rooms; the chess is in Daniel's toy chest."

"Oh, right," James said quietly feeling like that intruder again who didn't know his way around his own home.

"I'll go and get it," Isabella announced jumping up from the rug by the fire but James interrupted her.

"No Darling, you wait here, I can find it. Why don't you pour us all a glass of pumpkin juice?" he asked as he grabbed the kitbag he had brought in with him and headed through the kitchen door onto a long, brightly lit landing which led to the winding stairs. He jumped up them two at a time and reached the first landing of the house from which three of their bedrooms led off. Daniel and Isabella had a room of their own on this floor and there was a bathroom too; the third room served as a spare bedroom but sometimes James would use it when the triplets wanted to climb into bed with Holly. He continued up to the second floor on another winding and creaking staircase which came out in the eaves of the house; they had built two large bedrooms into the roof space, one of which was their master bedroom and the other served the triplets so they were close to their mother at night. A second smaller bathroom serviced the floor too and James dropped the bag he had brought home by the door to it as he continued onto the triplets' bedroom at the end of the landing. He peeped through the door and saw the three of them all laid on top of their separate carved wooden beds; Holly was singing a lullaby to them in a soft voice and James could see all three sets of eyelids drooping slowly as she sang. She had a sweet singing voice and he leaned against the doorframe as he listened to her and watched as she gently tucked them all in before backing out of the room slowly making sure their eyes stayed closed.

Holly jumped as she backed into him but remained silent as she turned to see who was there, "James," she whispered breathlessly, "where did you come from?"

"I came up to get the chess game for Daniel and Isabella," he explained steadying her with his hands and holding onto her for a few moments. "I wanted to watch you with them," he continued nodding into the room, "so I carried on up here. You are so good with them," he smiled dropping a kiss on her forehead.

"It's in Daniel's toybox," she said pulling her arms from his hands and walking past him.

"Sorry?" he asked feeling a little confused at her briskness.

"The chess set," she smiled walking over to the bag he had discarded by the bathroom door, "is this everything?" she asked picking it up.

"Yes," he replied looking down at the clothes he was still wearing, "and these," he added gesturing to them.

"Well get them off then," she ordered tipping out the bag and beginning to sort them into separate colours.

"Holly," James shrieked in jest, "only three of the children are asleep; I don' t think you can make such suggestions yet!" he went on sidling up behind her and wiggling his hips.

"James," she replied harshly, "Isabella and Daniel are still downstairs," and then with a short tut she picked up an armful of his dirty clothes and pushed past him heading back down the winding staircase without a backward glance. James watched her go with a frown, she seemed distant again and he hoped it was only because he had been away so long. He would ask her later, when the children were asleep, as they had once promised to be completely honest with each other no matter what the other person might think or feel and he was going to remind her of it when they were alone. Heading into their cosy pale blue bedroom James sat down on his side of the bed and stretched; watching the children sleeping had made him feel tired and he decided to put his head down for half an hour before spending a little time with his elder children. He undressed first and dropped his work robes by the bed; then he donned a pair of loose fitting linen trousers and a quidditch shirt before laying out on the bed and staring around the room. The walls were painted in a sky blue colour and Holly had made the bedding and curtains out of matching white material covered in small blue cornflowers.

The midday sun filtered through the window onto the bed as James glanced at the photographs which adorned the room; most of them were of the children but there was one picture of just the two of them which Holly always kept on her side of the bed. The photo had been taken a few weeks before Isabella was born and showed James with his arms wound around Holly from behind and his hands placed protectively on her swollen stomach. They had not had any pictures taken at their wedding because things had not gone quite according to plan and this one had been the first photo they had really had taken together as a married couple. James rolled over on the bed to gaze at it but when he saw the gilt silver picture frame which contained it he saw that another picture had been put in its place; this one showed the five children at his grandparent's house, the triplets clambering all over Isabella and Daniel as they chuckled at the person taking the photo. James eyed it curiously; it was a beautiful photograph of them but he could not understand why Holly had replaced, or where the original picture had gone. He searched her bedside drawer and eventually found it at the bottom under a pile of books and parchments; it was creased in one corner and he unfolded it carefully as he gazed down at the smiling couple within it. Why would Holly have hidden it away? Was it hard for her to look at pictures of them when he was away like it was often hard for him to see those of his family? Or was there something deeper going on?

He dozed off for a while and stirred only slightly when he heard soft footsteps pad across to his room and then disappear again with a few whispers; he had not realised how tired he actually was until he had decided to nap and when he eventually woke up it was to the sound of thudding feet on the floor below. He stretched and yawned before looking out of the window to see that the sun had fallen in the sky. His stomach growled and as he sat up he reached out for the gold watch he always left on his bedside when he went on assignment and saw that it was almost five o clock.

As he headed out of the bedroom and down the first set of steps he heard thudding going back along the lower corridor and as he reached the bottom of them saw Daniel and Isabella leaving the bathroom and then thumping down the second set of stairs. He continued along the landing to the second set and as he descended he heard his wife's angry voice yelling, "Mille and Arthur, get your hands washed this instant or there will be no pudding for you; do you hear me?"

"Yes, Mum," came two sly voices but James did not hear them heading for the staircase instead he saw them hiding behind a plant pot at the bottom of them instead.

"You should do as your mother tells you," he whispered as he reached the last step making them almost jump out of their skin.

"Daddy," they squealed looking around wildly and then they bounded up the stairs on their hands and feet, hopefully to wash their hands for dinner.

"Can I do anything?" James asked as he entered the kitchen and saw Holly putting out dishes of food.

"Just make sure those two wash their hands," she replied exasperatedly and he turned back to follow Millie and Arthur. He found them hiding in Daniel's room and could see by the stains on their hands that they had not washed them.

"Oi, you two," he chided sternly giving them a slightly angry glare, "wash your hands before dinner." As if standing to attention they both stopped giggling and walked over to the bathroom where James watched them scrub their hands thoroughly then he marched them back to the kitchen and made them sit quietly at the table with their other sibling.

"Thanks," Holly said absentmindedly when he walked over to pick up the last couple of dishes.

"They were hiding in Daniel's room," he explained.

"They always do that," she replied with a tired sigh, "I can hardly ever get them to the table in time for dinner; they think they are allergic to soap and water."

"Don't you think you ought to punish them for it?" he asked.

"Don't you think you should be here a bit more to discipline them yourself before you start criticising my techniques?" she shot back and without waiting for a response headed to her seat at the table next to Isabella who had heard the short interaction between her parents. He let the matter drop and joined his family for a proper home cooked meal which he thoroughly enjoyed as he listened to tales from his children and told them jokes and stories about some of his older missions which were now public knowledge.

Holly watched as the children were entertained by their father and saw the sparkle that he had with them; she was still amazed at how easily he had taken to fatherhood and knew their children would always be happy while he was around. The news that he was home for an extended period had shocked her and she knew her reaction had been less than enthusiastic but it had been so sudden; she had not been expecting him home for more than a few days and didn't know if she was prepared for him to be home just yet. It already seemed strange having him in the house and she still couldn't work out how she felt about it, even though she knew it was going to be good for her children.

When they had finished eating James volunteered to bath the triplets before they went to bed and then he read them a story from Tales of Beedle the Bard. He used different voices for the characters and the children laughed at him before settling down to sleep tucked up tightly in their warm covers. On his way back to the living room he called into Daniel's room for the chess set and asked his other two children if they were ready to play now that he was awake. "You should have woken me earlier," he told Holly who settled down in a squashy armchair when she had finished clearing away all the dishes.

"I thought you needed to sleep," she replied as she picked up the book she was reading, "I sent these two up to see what you were doing but when they came back and said you were sleeping I told them to leave you there. You're always pretty tired when you get back off assignment, best to take advantage of it while you can."

"Thanks," he said softly, "want to be on my team?" he asked gesturing to the chessboard which Isabella was setting up.

"No," she answered, "I'll just watch."

"Okay," he said turning to look at the board which Daniel and Isabella were already studying and whispering about. "But I have a feeling I'm going to lose if I play alone," he added but Holly shook her head back at him. His apponents were a sneaky team and won all three games which they played before bedtime chuckling at their father when their pieces stopped his king from moving. "When did you two get so good?" he asked ruffling Daniel's hair and giving Isabella a nudge.

"Uncle Ron's been teaching us!" they giggled furiously and he gave them a sly look.

"Teaching you all the sneaky ways?" he asked. "No one can beat Uncle Ron at chess," he went on, "even Rose!"

"We can!" they laughed simultaneously, "We beat him twice in a row at Grandma Molly's last Thursday! He said he won't play with us anymore because we play like he does!" James laughed along with them then and Holly felt herself chuckling too as she watched her husband get up and lift his son into the air and over his shoulder. Daniel squirmed and squealed making Isabella laugh and Holly watched on with a smile on her face.

"Come on you two, bedtime," Holly said standing up.

"I'll take them," James said stopping in the middle of the room and holding Daniel upside down, "you stay down here for a change; let me do some of the work!"

"Make sure they brush their teeth," she said to him.

"Yes Mum," he replied with a laugh before launching Daniel into an aeroplane shape and running in the direction of the stairs with Isabella in their wake. Holly watched them go and smiled again; she had enjoyed watching him with the children again but still couldn't work out how she felt about him being back in the house.

"…And ever after a golden statue of the washerwoman stood upon the tree stump, and no witch or wizard was ever persecuted in the kingdom again." James finished the story of Babbity Rabbit and closed the leather bound book which had once been his as a child. Daniel was almost asleep and Isabella was curled up at the bottom of his bed looking equally dozy. "Goodnight son," he whispered kissing Daniel's forehead then he turned to pick his eldest daughter up in his arms and carried her out of the room pausing to extinguish the gas lamp lighting the compact bedroom. They crossed the landing and he pushed the door to her bedroom open, inside it was pale pink and the walls were decorated in paintings of dancing fairies who sprung around the room. "This is new," James whispered to her as he dropped her on top of the bed.

"Aunty Luna did it for my birthday," she explained and James felt a pang of guilt at having missed it, "she said that the fairies will watch over me while I sleep."

"And I'm sure they will Sweetheart," he said smiling down and kneeling to kiss her forehead.

He was about to get up and leave when she asked, "Daddy, are you home forever now?" and instead of going he turned back to stroke her hair back from her face.

"Not forever Darling," he began feeling guilty again as her face fell. "But I'm here for a while this time, I asked for some time off work so I could see my beautiful family," he chuckled and she smiled again.

"I miss you when you're away," she told him honestly, "we all do." He felt the pang inside him again as she went on, "And Mum is sad."

"What?" James asked softly.

"Mum, when you're away, she's sad. But now you're back she'll be happy again, won't she?"

"I hope so," he answered honestly feeling that he didn't quite know at the moment.

"She will, I know it. She's always saddest when you first go away but when you come home she's happy; I want her to stay happy."

"So do I Sweetheart, so do I," he added as she closed her eyes gently and he watched for a few minutes as she fell into slumber and her breathing deepened.

He wasn't altogether sure if he wanted to go back down to his wife; he wanted nothing more than to curl up with her now that the children were in bed but he knew they needed to talk about him being home and he was feeling a bit scared of what she was going to say. Once he knew Isabella was deeply asleep he turned out her bedside light and turned to walk out of the room but stopped when he saw Holly standing in the doorway with a gentle smile on her face.

"You're so good with them," she whispered as he strode towards her but she backed out of the room before he reached her.

"I'll go and check on the triplets," he said ushering her back to the stairs but as she reached them he caught her hand and turned her to face him. "I'll be down in a minute," he added and then leaned out to kiss her lips. He had missed her so much and needed some reassurance that they were just going to need an adjustment phase after he had been away so long and he felt it slightly as she returned the kiss, but only briefly. Then she headed down the stairs as he went up to check on their peacefully sleeping youngest offspring. He stared at them for a few moments still marvelling at how much they had changed and how much he had missed them; he closed the door quietly and headed back down to the ground floor where he heard Holly in the kitchen pottering around.

"Do you want a cup of cocoa?" she called to him and he popped his head around the door to say yes but she didn't turn to look at him. "Coming up," she said instead.

James walked into the living room and took a seat on the wide leather sofa waiting for her to come in with their drinks. When she did he took the steaming mug from her hands gratefully and followed her with his gaze as she sat in the chair opposite him and not on the sofa by his side. He felt that creeping feeling he had had many years before when she was pregnant with Isabella and afraid to tell him and he knew he had to ask her to tell him the truth now. The problem was that part of him wanted to ignore it and was hoping it would go away of its own accord so he found himself saying in his head that waiting one more day couldn't hurt. Let them sleep on it and see how they were in the morning; perhaps sharing a bed together for the night would bring them closer and if it didn't then he would have to ask for her honesty in the morning.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Chess?" James suggested for want of something to do and Holly smiled and nodded her head with a gentle sigh then dropped onto the floor to set the board back up. They sat either side of the heavy wooden coffee table where he had played with the children and James pointed his wand at the fire to ignite it as an evening chill fell around the room.

"Checkmate!" Holly laughed an hour later which was the first thing she had said since the game began and James pouted across the table at her.

"Has Uncle Ron been teaching you too?" he chuckled batting her hand over the table as she smiled; she looked beautiful and he was desperate to reach out and grab hold of her but something was holding him back, a hidden signal from her which he was still afraid to face.

"You were always a sore loser!" she laughed looking more like her usual self then she stretched out her body and yawned loudly, "Oh excuse me, those kids tire me out!"

"Shall we…shall we go to bed?" he asked a little tentatively and she nodded her head in reply pushing herself to her feet and beginning to tidy up the chess pieces which had just reformed after their game. "Leave them," he whispered reaching out and taking hold of her hand while looking warmly at her.

"But it'll be a mess in the morning," she protested looking down at his hand and not at his face.

"I'll clear it away," he went on tugging the hand gently and moving around to her side of the table. She still kept her eyes down but allowed him to lead her out of the room after he had extinguished the fire with his wand; he held her hand tightly as they climbed up both sets of stairs to their master bedroom where James closed the door behind them and finally let her hand go. She moved from his side when he let go and walked to the dresser where she started to unbutton the top that she wore, "Let me do that," he whispered as he stepped up behind her and slid his arm around her sides to the pearly buttons. The mirror in front of them showed him where they were and as he slid it from her shoulders carefully he began to kiss the white skin beneath it. It had been so long since they had even slept in the same bed never mind had time to be together in one and he felt like a nervous teenage virgin as he turned her to face him and leaned down to kiss her soft lips. She responded to him a little more than before but it still seemed hesitant and as he pulled her towards the bed he felt her reluctance which stabbed at his heart like a knife. "Holly," he whispered and she opened her eyes, "do you want me to stop?"

She shook her head in reply but closed her eyes again as he undressed himself and then slowly removed the rest of her clothes. When she was naked he ran his hands along the curves of her body; she was not as skinny as she had been ten years ago but three pregnancies had given her a rounder figure which still excited him as much as it always had. He traced his fingers across her few, almost unnoticeable, stretch marks which he had always teased were like his war wounds but for giving him five wonderful children. At his touch she swayed a little and he felt some relief; she was not turning him away but she was not making any attempt to touch him either. He gently tugged on her hands and she sat on the bed beside him then he moved back and pulled out the covers so they could climb beneath them; he knew something wasn't right and it felt wrong to force this on her so instead he beckoned for her to join him. Pulling the blankets over them he turned her on her side and curled up behind her draping one arm over her waist and sliding the other beneath her neck. Then he just held her, for the longest time, not pushing himself, not speaking to her just laying with the woman in his arms and building up the courage to ask the question he feared the answer to.

"Holly," he eventually whispered, "what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" she asked quietly.

"With us? With me?" he said swallowing over the lump in his throat, "Something isn't right and it wasn't right the last time I was home either."

"N…nothing," she stuttered and he gently turned her over to face him and gazed at her face; there were tear tracks running down the side of it and he reached out to wipe them dry.

"Then why are you crying?"

"Because I…I…" she couldn't find an answer and could feel and hear her heart beating like a wild drum against her rib cage; she knew he had sensed it but she wasn't sure if she could explain it.

"Holly, we once promised to always tell each other the truth, no matter what the outcome would be, or how it would make the other one feel. You're distant with me, like you were then and I need to know is it just because I've been away for a long time or…or…is it something else?" he murmured almost afraid to say the words.

Holly coughed quietly and then held the covers up to her chest as she sat up in the bed and looked at James; he was woeful and looked petrified but she knew she had to speak the truth to him, whatever it was. "It's something else," she uttered.

"Is…is it someone else?" he had to ask feeling his chest constrict.

"No," she blurted looking him straight in the eyes, "no James, I would never…never do that."

"Then…what?" he whispered trying not to choke.

"I don't think I even know James but…" she trailed off and didn't finish the sentence.

"But you don't want me here," he uttered in a low voice as his eyes fell to look at his hands.

"What?" she asked.

"When I told you earlier that I was home for a couple of months you weren't happy, you just said, 'Oh,'."

"Did I?"

"Yes," he nodded and she looked guiltily away.

"I…I…" she sat up even straighter determined to say something to try and explain to him and to herself how she was feeling. James was a good man and he didn't deserve to be lied to, she loved him, somehow and knew it was only right to be as honest as she could be.

"Isabella says you're sad when I'm away," he told her remembering what the child had said about wanting her mother to be happy.

"I was…once," she admitted, "I always was…but," he gasped at her words and she felt it cut her heart too; she had not allowed herself to believe that statement until now but she knew in her heart that it was true.

"But?" James probed.

"But then I stopped," she went on feeling the realisation dawn on her, "I think I stopped missing you eventually because you were gone for so long…and so often. I just got used to it; I gave up everything for the children so you could carry on and you left us behind to follow your career. Which I never begrudged you James," she added quickly knowing that he had not meant for this to happen. "Never, I love my children…our children," she corrected, "and I happily gave up everything for them; but after a while I learned to manage them, to manage our lives... without you and…and I did stop missing you."

"But I miss you all the time, all of you," he spluttered as tears began to fall over his eyelids and down his cheeks in torrents. "I hate to be away from you and count down the days till I'm back."

"And we used to too, the children still do but…but I had to live my life and run the house and them without you. I love you James, and I always will but somewhere along the line I…I stopped…needing you," she breathed finally admitting both to herself and him the melancholy she had been feeling about his return. It wasn't that she didn't want him there but she wasn't bothered if he was there or not.

"You…you don't need me anymore?" he asked tears continuing to stream down his face as he felt his heart being ripped from his body.

"No…" she murmured as tears fell freely down her own face. "I don't," she finished honestly pulling the covers over her completely and looking at the half broken man in her bed. "I learned to do without you and…and now… I'm sorry James, I really am. I didn't ask for this; I didn't want it to happen; but it did and…"

"What about the children?" he croaked.

"They still need you James, and they always will; you are their father and nothing will ever change that. I have seen today how much they need you in their lives and I will never try to stop you from being with them but…"

"But you don't want me to be with you?" he asked hoarsely

"I…I don't know," she said honestly.

"But if I'm here, if I stay here and give everything up would you learn to need me again?" he begged sounding desperate and her heart broke in two for him; this was not what James Potter would do but she could see he was desperately trying to hold on to his family.

"I honestly don't know," she admitted, "I'm…I'm sorry." She reached out a hand to touch his shoulder and he flinched slightly but let it rest there as he tried to control his sobbing; he had always wanted to provide for his family and had once told Holly he would give anything up for her; but had he left it too late to do that?

"Do you want me to go?" he asked wiping the tears from his eyes and trying to focus.

"No," she said, "not…not now; the children need you, they want to see you now you are home and…and I don't know what we will tell them; but…I'll…I'll go and sleep downstairs," she continued moving to get out of the bed.

"No," he said forcefully, "I'll do that; if the children see you in there they will think it strange. I can tell them that I moved for the triplets; I'll bring them in to you they never remember coming to our…your bed."

"James this is our bed; it will always be our bed…I just…"

"You just don't want me in it," he said trying to hold up his head.

"No James, It's not that," she cried standing up as he climbed out of the bed and searched for his trousers. "I…I…" she stuttered but she didn't know what words she wanted to say. Her eyes were streaming with tears and she knew this could be the end of her marriage; did she really want that? Hadn't they promised to be together through everything until death parted them? But were the promises enough?

He walked away from her and she ran after him desperate to comfort him in his pain but knowing she was the wrong person to be doing it. "James," she said as he reached the door and she grabbed hold of his arms he stopped but did not face her and she had to turn him round, "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't want this to happen; it just did and…and…" she flung her arms around him as she sobbed and he slid his down her back holding her tight. "I still love you," she added.

"This is not going to help," he said eventually letting her go and staring at her now naked body again, "you should find a nightgown and I'll bring the triplets in.

"Just bring Ellie," she said through muffled sobs, "the others don't come very often any more; they are growing up and being brave, like their father. Only Ellie comes to me most nights." He nodded but did not say another word as he crept across the landing and gazed down at the three sleeping children in the room; they looked happy and peaceful and he did not know what kind of wake up they were going to get soon; but he dashed the thought from his mind for a moment as he lifted Ellie in her arms and carried her back to her mother's bed.

Holly was stood by the dresser again when he entered and he gently laid Ellie in the space he had just left and turned to leave the room again without a word to his wife; he could hear that she was still crying but knew comforting each other would do no good; this was going to be painful no matter what. Closing the door behind him felt like he was closing the door on his life and every footstep he took down the landing and the stairs to the spare bedroom felt like another stab in his heart. He was walking away from the woman he loved, the woman he had vowed to spend the rest of his life with, the woman he still wanted to spend the rest of his life with, but the woman who didn't know if she wanted to spend the rest of hers with him.

He made it to the bed and lifted up the covers; as his head hit the pillow a fresh wave of tears overwhelmed him and he indulged them, allowed them to fall as he felt his world cracking around him. He had waited too long to get out; he had done too much. While he was off working and fighting Holly had continued living. He never had her in his work life and so had never learned to live without her but for Holly it was different. He had been in her life and had left it for longer and longer periods of time until she had learned to live life without him, not willingly, but it had happened and now they had to face the consequences. This was not Holly's fault, it was neither of their faults; they had not asked it to happen, it just had; the question was, where did they go now?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

James woke the next morning to the sound of children running around and for a fraction of a second he smiled as he remembered that he was at home. But then, when he opened his eyes and saw where he was, he also remembered what Holly had said to him the night before. He felt instantly low as he realised he didn't know what was going to happen next and he felt afraid to get up and actually face the day. The love of his life telling him that she had stopped needing him had been the most crushing blow he had ever received and he had spent much of the night kicking himself for not seeing it coming, for not thinking that it might happen and coming home. "Daddy!" squealed a voice as his bedroom door burst open and a trio of almost identical looking children filed into the room and jumped on the bed.

"Sorry Daddy," Ellie said shyly sitting on the edge while the other two clambered all over their father and he put on a smile for them all.

"For what Sweetheart?" he asked curiously looking at his daughter.

"For sleeping with Mummy," she said looking down and James felt immediately guilty for using her as an excuse for why they weren't sharing the same bed.

"It's okay Honey," he said reaching out and pulling her across the bed. "Her snoring was keeping me awake anyway," he laughed forcing himself to appear happy for their sakes. "Come on," he continued jumping up out of the bed, "it smells like breakfast is ready!" The triplets bounced off the bed with him and bounded out of the room to the stairwell while James set about finding something to wear, "And make sure you wash your hands first!" he added remembering what Millie and Arthur were like. He trudged up the second set of stairs to his own room and crept in feeling as if he was entering a forbidden room; she had said it would always be their bed but glancing at it now he already felt that it wasn't. Quickly grabbing some fresh clothes he dressed hurriedly and followed the smell of bacon down to the kitchen where he found the children sat eagerly at the table while Holly cooked over the stove. "Morning," he said quietly as he entered the room.

"Morning," Holly replied in almost a croak.

"Morning Daddy," Isabella and Daniel shouted simultaneously and he sat down with them to pour out a glass of pumpkin juice from the jug on the table. Then Holly dropped a plate with a bacon sandwich on it before him and he picked at it while he watched the rest of his family tuck in. The children chatted amiably and James put on a front for them while Holly sat quietly at the other end of the oak table; she looked forlorn and his instinct was to comfort her but he knew that wasn't the answer this time. As she cleared away after them James tidied up the children and sent them out into the warm sunshine to play in the garden again. He helped them fish out old toys from the shed which they had not played with for a while and set up a few of them to play with. After ten minutes they were running around happily and James asked Isabella to watch them closely while he ventured back into the house to find Holly; there was little point in skirting around the issue for long and realised they needed to talk.

"Holly?" he called in a slow voice as he walked through the kitchen door; she wasn't in there but a few seconds later he heard her come down the stairs and watched her re-enter the room with a basket of his washing.

"James," she answered quietly looking over at him with a slip of a smile. "I was just catching up on some washing," she added taking the basket over to the sink.

"You shouldn't do those," he said walking over and taking the basket from her, "not…not now. I think…I think we should talk," he finished and she nodded her head slowly at him. "The kids are busy and Isabella is watching them," he explained dropping the basket on the kitchen floor and taking a seat at the table. She followed suit and took a chair beside him dropping clasped hands onto the top of it and staring at them morosely.

"James," she began, "I'm…I'm so sorry; I didn't want this to happen I swear, it just…"

"It just did," he said in a strong voice, "but what we need to decide is what we do now."

"Aha," she replied nodding her head but not looking him in the eyes. "I do love you James," she went on, "and I will always care about you. I know I said all of this last night but it's true; it's just that I am so used to living my life without you now and I think…I think that's the way I want my life to be." She almost choked on the words because she knew what they were going to do to him. It was true that she loved and cared for him and did not want to hurt him but it had to be said and something had to be done. "I think I've felt like this for a while," she continued, "I tried to ignore it; I tried to pretend it was just because I was trying hard not to miss you too much and like I said…that's what I did."

"I…I understand," he admitted making her gasp, "while I was working away I missed you so much, all of you because I was away from my life; but I never had you there in that part of my life so I never knew what it was like not to have you in it. You…you have been doing a marvellous job bringing up our children while I was away but you carried on doing the same things you always do, without me, and the more I was away the more you learned how to live like that, without me."

"James, this is not your fault," she impressed, "none of this…it... it just happened. This is what life did to us; we lost the spark and spontaneity somewhere along the line; life and our circumstances got in the way and…this was the result. We both knew life would be like this when we got married; but I didn't know what it would do to us, to me."

"What do you want me to do?" he asked sincerely.

"I really don't know James," she said honestly, "I only admitted this to myself last night and I just don't know where it leaves us now."

"Is there…is there anything I can do to…to change things?" he asked feeling desperate but needing to know if there was any sort of chance for them.

"I don't know James," she repeated, "I wish I did but…"

"Do you want me to go?" he asked.

"No James, this…this is your house and the children need you too; you should stay here…for now."

"But I don't know if I can do that; I don't know if I can live with you Holly and not…not be with you. This hurts so much but being around you everyday, sharing a home with you and knowing that you feel like this…it will crucify me," he went on as she started to cry. "I want you Holly…I still need you and if I can't have you then…then I can't be here." His voice had gone hoarse and it cracked on the words as tears started to fall from his own eyes; he reached out to touch her hand and she let him comfort her…comfort himself as he needed to.

"What about the children?" she asked looking up at him through mournful eyes.

"I'll be here, I'll come back; I am not going away for a while. I'll go to Mum's and they can visit me too; I want to see them, Holly, and I don't want to leave them but…but don't you think I have to?" She started to nod her head as droplets fell furiously from her face onto the table top and James swallowed hard before saying, "I'll go and pack some things."

"Now?" she asked looking at him aghast, "but…"

"There's no point in putting it off Holly; if we are not going to be…together as man and wife then…then we cannot live together as man and wife anymore," he explained and then stood up to walk slowly back up the stairs. The thuds seemed to echo his heart beat as he climbed slowly through the house he loved to the bedroom which he already knew wasn't his anymore. Throwing a few things into the kitbag he had just emptied he turned to leave it again but walked slowly over to Holly's side of the bed where he opened the drawer in the cabinet and took out the photograph she had hidden away. He folded it carefully and stuffed it into the side of his bag before leaving the room and closing the door behind him; then with a wistful glance in the triplet's bedroom he set off back down to the kitchen.

Holly was still sat at the table and he could see that her body was wracked with sobs; he walked over and tentatively reached out a hand to her shoulder afraid she might push him away but she surprised him by standing up and stepping into his arms so he could hold her. This was hard, much harder than she had expected it to be and though she knew everything she had said was still true she also knew this was the end of something big in her life, something she had been living now for a long time and that was still going to be devastating. "I truly am sorry James," she sobbed as he stroked her back, "I don't know what else to say," then she leaned up and gave him a kiss. It was neither passionate nor tender in a sensual way and it broke his heart to feel it. There was love in it but not the kind of love he was used to feeling from her; the kind he realised now he had not felt from her in a very long time.

"I should go," he said pushing her gently away from him and wiping his eyes; it was at that moment that Isabella came running into the room and stopped stock still in the doorway; Holly had to turn away from her to hide her face but James tried to put on a wide smile and said, "Hey."

"Daddy?" she asked quietly seeing the full bag at his feet, "You said you were staying for a long time, this time."

"I'm not going away," he said walking towards her and kneeling down to her level. "Listen, you know how Mummy likes to have you with her all the time?" he asked shaking his head and smiling at her. "Well Daddy's Mummy wants to have him with her for a little while, because I've been away for such a long time."

"But you're a grown up," she said with a curious look, "you don't have to live with your Mummy now."

"I know I don't Sweetheart but Nanna Potter wants me to stay for a little while; I'll only be over at Grimmauld Place and you can come and see me whenever you want to. And I'll come back here too to see you and Daniel and the triplets."

"And Mum?" she asked looking over at her mother who had finally turned her head in their direction.

"And Mum," he added trying desperately to keep his voice from cracking again.

"But she'll be sad again now, if you go. She was happy yesterday when you came home like we were but if you go then she'll feel sad again."

"No she won't because I won't be far this time," he went on glancing over at Holly as if he was speaking to her more than Isabella, "I'll only be a floo away. And she'll have you to make her happy, all of you," he added looking out of the door where he could see the other children still playing on the grass. Isabella looked warily at him and then at her mother; she was a little to old to buy the story about her grandmother wanting him at home.

"But I don't want you to go Dad, I like it when you are home," James heard a sob escape from his wife and knew this conversation was hurting her as much as it was hurting their daughter but there was nothing she could do about it; the children would have to accept what had happened.

"I know you don't Sweetheart, but I need to do this for a while," he went on glancing at Holly again; she had turned her head back to the wall and he could see she was crying again. "Come on, let's go and tell the others," he went on standing up and holding out a hand to her but she pushed straight past him and ran up the stairs out of sight making James feel like the worst father in the world.

"You're going to be the man of the house again," he said to Daniel half an hour later after he had explained to him and the triplets that he was going to stay with their grandparents for a while. They had frowned at him like Isabella but their reaction had not been as severe as hers; they were sad but treated it like he was going back to work again and said they would see him soon.

"I've only just stopped being that," his eldest son whined as they stood at the fireplace to see him off; Isabella had refused to come back out of her room and James had been up to hug her goodbye. However she had not said a word to him and had also ignored Holly when she went to coax her round. Kneeling down James hugged the triplets and then looked over at Holly who had tears running down her face again; she stayed back and watched the scene from the kitchen table and mouthed another I'm sorry before he flooed out of his family home and back to the place he had grown up in. He had not seen his mother or father yet or even told them about his extended leave but he knew they were going to be as devastated as he was when he confessed that his marriage was over.

James spent a week wallowing in his childhood home, rattling around with his mother and father who had been shocked at his news; Ginny had wept for him, and with him, and Harry had watched on completely gobsmacked. He knew life as an auror was tough on the family at home but he had never expected this to happen even after his own experiences of feeling like an intruder when he came home. His son seemed only a fraction of his former self and he remembered the days when Ginny had left him with the children for a while, believing he had been seeing another woman. Listening to the tale had not helped James' mood but Harry was praying there was some hope for them yet as Ginny had changed her mind eventually and they had continued their wonderful life together. He said Holly just needed time but James was not as convinced as his father.

The family had flooed in to visit and console him at various points in the week but he had not been able to stand their pitying voices and had been short with many of them; as a result they had stayed away for a while. He visited Mill Cottage each day to play with the children and put on a brave face but everytime he saw Holly he wanted to hold her and kiss her, even though he knew he should feel angry or something towards her; but he just couldn't; he still loved her too much. She was amiable with him and smiled as he played with the children but she felt at peace with her decision and knew they had come to an end, even if it was heart breaking for them both. The thing she was more worried about were the children, especially Isabella who had barely left her room since James' departure.

She was old enough to understand that something was wrong between them and she blamed them both for not being able to get along and live in the same house. Coming down only at her mother's insistence to eat and do chores she had stayed quietly away from everyone else and barely even spoken to her father when he visited. It upset them both and after he had put the triplets to bed one night they sat down to talk about what they could do. What James wanted was to come home but he knew that was the wrong answer; it would be no better for the children or him to be in a house with two parents who were not in a relationship anymore. Eventually Holly had told Isabella the truth hoping she would be mature enough to understand but she had refused her explanation saying that she should be happy to have Daddy back at home; and with tears in her eyes Holly had admitted defeat and decided to let her come around of her own accord.

They both felt guilty but found it was the only thing they could talk about which took the pressure off them. James didn't know what to say to someone who had stopped needing him and Holly didn't know how to talk to him anymore when she knew he was hurting so much. It was strained but they were desperately trying to hide it from the other children who weren't sure why Isabella was so upset.

James took them over to the Burrow on his first Thursday night home for the feast which his grandmother Molly still prepared with a little help from some of her daughter in laws. Isabella came along but would not speak to her father and sought out her cousin Remus immediately taking him down to the river and away from the chaos which she couldn't cope with. This was not what she had wanted to happen and she felt so angry with her parents for doing this to them and themselves. Her mother's explanation had made no sense as she missed her father everyday but she was angry with him for going and not trying to fight for her mother. James watched over them from the top of the hill and remembered the first time he had brought Holly to the weekly first; she was the only girl he had ever invited and he couldn't imagine ever inviting anyone else. It was at that moment that he realised one day he might do, that one day he could meet someone else, and so might Holly and that cut at his already bruised heart making him almost cry.

While they ate Isabella stayed with Remus at the other end of the table; James helped the triplets and tried to keep the mess down. He marvelled at the ever expanding family who always managed to fit around the table but felt scrutinised by them all as they looked over him with sad expressions; this was the first time there had been a separation in the family and somewhere inside James thought he had let everyone down. The Weasleys and Potters prided themselves on having loving and lasting relationships and he knew that somewhere he had gone completely wrong.

He left early so the triplets would be bathed and in bed by seven o clock and arrived in his old living room to see Holly curled up in a chair with a magazine. He smiled as he stepped out holding Millie and saw Daniel with Arthur but Ellie, who had flooed out with Isabella, was sat on the floor by her mother's feet and when he looked to his wife she lifted her eyes to the ceiling.

"What can we do about her?" he asked when Holly came down the stairs; he had waited until the triplets were in bed and then asked Daniel to go up to his room, "She can't go on like this."

"I know," Holly replied, "I wish this hadn't all happened."

"But it did," James said quite sternly and Holly felt herself taken aback at his words. "Sorry," he went on seeing her reaction, "but she has to get used to it, this…this is how things have got to be."

"I tried to talk to her; I told her the truth but she blames me for making you leave; she thinks I pushed you out because I stopped…"

"Needing me?" he filled in for her finally feeling a little bit of the anger he knew should have come out of him earlier. He had tried not to feel like this knowing it would not change anything but he could see his lovely daughter wilting away before them and he suddenly felt like he needed to blame someone.

"Yes," she answered quietly.

"Then maybe she should blame you," he barked back and Holly gasped. "I left because I couldn't stand to be near you and not have you as my wife; it would be too hard and now she can see that's why. But she's angry at both of us; I was the one who got up and left them, again," he continued, "whatever the reason." Holly didn't say anything, she couldn't; she did blame herself everyday and she didn't feel any happier now that he was gone than she had when he came back. "I should go," he went on needing to get away from the situation; though he wanted to see his children seeing Holly was just too hard and he had to leave, "I'll see them tomorrow night," he added as he jumped into the fireplace and then he left without a backward glance at his wife.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

He flooed straight to the Leaky Cauldron where Salamander had suggested he join him for a drink, he could see his friend needed some company and though he had not told him anything about the break up yet Sal just wanted to be there for his friend. "She said she stopped missing me," James suddenly announced from the opposite side of the booth where they were sitting, "and didn't need me anymore." Salamander looked up to see his pain filled eyes staring bleakly at him and he didn't know what to say in return. He couldn't imagine what the withered looking man was going through as he and Rose were as happy in their marriage as they had been from the start; they now had two children, Maria and Stephanie and he could not see his life without them all in it. "It was my fault, I should have given it all up sooner, I should have stayed at home. But she always promised me we would be alright, that she could cope with me working away so much; she just learned to cope too well."

"I'm sorry mate," Salamander offered not knowing what else to say.

"That's what everyone says," he huffed.

"I know this is a stupid question but how do you feel about it all?"

"Honestly Sal, I just feel numb. I want to be angry, I want to blame Holly but I can't, I can see why it happened and where it came from but I can't see a way to fix it. I don't want to make her miserable but I don't know if I can go on without her either. She still doesn't know what it all means for us, but if she doesn't need me then…where else is there to go but separation?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly, "how are the kids?"

"Isabella won't talk to either of us," he explained, "the others just think I'm staying at Mum's for a bit but she knows, she understands what's going on and she hates us both for it. She blames Holly for pushing me away and she blames me for leaving and I don't know how to bring her round. She has always been fiercely strong willed and I don't know how to make her see that this is what has to happen."

"Maybe you just have to give her time to get used to it, I don't think there's anything more you can do," Salamander offered before they went back to drinking in silence for a while longer. "Do you think we should call it a night?" he eventually asked feeling guilty that he was going home to his loving family while James was going back to his parent's house.

"You go," he said, "let me wallow a bit longer."

"I can't leave you here," Sal said.

"I'll be fine mate, I can look after myself. I'm going to have to," he growled.

"Are you sure?" his friend went on standing up and reaching for his cloak, he had promised Rose he wouldn't be too late even though she knew he was being there for her desperate looking cousin.

"Certain," he replied without looking up from his drink then he motioned for Tom to bring him another bottle as Salamander slowly made his way down the pub to the fireplace and flooed out to his own home watching his forlorn best friend drain another bottle of strong ale.

James sat alone for another hour getting steadily drunk by himself and was about to return home when he heard a voice from the corner of the room singing his name, "James Sirius Potter, alone in a bar, now there is a sight I thought I'd never see." He lifted his head slowly to look up at the sound and saw a tall, blonde haired girl looking down at him, she was familiar but he could not pick out her name. "Kelly," she offered seeing the look of concentration cross his face as he tried to determine it, "it was a long time ago," she added taking the liberty of joining him in the booth. "So how come you're draining the contents of an ale bottle by yourself, I thought you had a wife and kids to go home to."

"I did," he said moodily.

"Did?" she asked curiously and he glared menacingly at her, he didn't want to explain to anyone else, he was tired of explaining.

"Don't anymore," was all he said and she accepted it.

"So you're drowning yourself in here instead are you? Looking for some company?"

"Not especially," he returned but she did not move to get up, instead she signalled for two more bottles of ale and paid the barman when he brought them over. "Cheers," James said begrudgingly as he took the bottle she proffered to him.

"Not up for talking about it then?" she asked.

"No," he barked back feeling incensed that she had taken it upon herself to sit with him,

"What about a shag then?" she asked boldly and he slowly raised his head to look at her with a menacing look. He remembered her a bit better now, she had been young when he had known her but then so had he. It was in his early auror days, in fact during his training and he had met her here in the bar. She was exactly his type, blonde hair, big boobs his natural choice for a quick shag and as he stared in amazement at her question he had to admit that she still looked very well. She would still only be in her early thirties, perhaps just a couple of years younger than he was, and she had cared for herself. "Never expected to hear that again did you?" she laughed when she saw his reaction, he was quite inebriated but not so much that he was unaware of his action, "Come on James, I need some action and you definitely need some action," she went on.

"No," he barked feeling a little outraged that she had actually asked so blazenly, it was the last thing on his mind and he had been about to leave before she so rudely interrupted. "I'm going," he added standing up and walking over to the bar, but he swayed as he stood and Kelly jumped up to steady him.

"I think you might need a bit of help with that!" she teased dropping his arm over her shoulder but he stood himself up straight as if to prove that he was fine and she let him go.

"I just need some fresh air," he announced in a sharp voice and without another word to her he headed for the door to the alley which led into Diagon Alley. He gulped in the cool late night air as he stood with his back to the wall where people tapped the bricks to gain entrance to the wizarding shopping streets. It was pitch black out there and the sky was covered with thick cloud obscuring the stars shining above it, at first the fresh air made him feel unsteady but after a few moments his head began to clear slightly. He was about to go back into the pub and floo home when the heavy oak door creaked open and the annoying woman he had left behind stepped out to join him.

"Feeling any better?" she asked standing by the wall beside him and leaning against it with one arm.

"A bit," he replied, "enough to get myself home now," he finished pushing himself away from the wall.

"Shame," she crooned reaching out a hand to touch his arm, "I just got myself a lonely little room at the inn."

"Enjoy your stay," he shot back but as he turned to leave Kelly flung an arm at him and in his wavering state he fell back against the wall trapping her with is arms as he tried to steady himself.

"Now this is more like it," she exclaimed reaching one arm around his waist and leaning her head up to kiss him. He drew back from her and glared menacingly for a moment but she simple pouted at him and made her eyes sparkled as she goaded him to continue. He felt like she was daring him to do it and with one swift movement he grabbed the girl roughly with one arm pulling her body against his and forced his lips into hers kissing her angrily but feeling her enjoy every single second of it. She was already gasping for breath when he pulled away and with an angry glare he stared at her for a moment panting as he tried to make sense of what he was doing, tried to rationalise it in some way but all he could hear was his loneliness and desperation and within second their lips were pushed together once more and James' hand began to slide fiercely up her skirt, she groaned at his touch as he pushed his other hand up her top and cupped one breast over the bra she wore. His other hand was already pulling down the knickers she wore beneath the short skirt and she had begun to hastily unfasten his trousers beneath which he was wearing nothing. When his hard, throbbing penis was out he picked Kelly up and pushed her against the wall, furiously sliding her skirt out of the way as he prepared to penetrate her. "Go on James," she moaned in his ear, "I know you want it," and she tried to push herself down on top of him but he stopped at her words.

James pulled his head back and looked at the girl freely giving herself to him in a back alley at almost midnight and he recoiled at himself and at her. Dropping her unceremoniously to her feet he stepped back and looked at what he was doing, this wasn't him, this wasn't James Potter anymore and it hadn't been for a very long time. He felt disgusted with the tramp whose face was turning angry and with himself, had he really been prepared to shag a random girl again because he needed someone? He stared at her with a look of repugnance as he re-buttoned his trousers and stepped away from the woman, "I can't do this," he whispered turning on his heel and running into the pub straight in the direction of the fireplace where he jumped into the flames and whizzed home.

An hour later he was still awake in his bed at Grimmauld Place staring at the picture of himself and Holly which he had taken from her bedside drawer. He longed to be the person within it again, the man that she had needed and he found himself needing someone, needing her. He stared at it for the longest time imagining they were still like that, trying to pretend that he wasn't in his old bed where had grown up but that he was out on assignment away from his love but that she was there at home waiting for him, missing him and needing him. But the bubble burst straight away, he knew it wasn't real and he knew he had to deal with what had happened, for his children's sake if not his own. The image of Kelly half stripped in the alley behind the Leaky Cauldron came unbeckoned into his mind and he shuddered, had he really been about to do that? But then another thought joined it, he wouldn't be sharing any time like that with Holly again and if he ever wanted to satisfy his physical needs it would have to be with someone else, someone who wasn't the beautiful brunette in the picture. But would he be able to do it?

After a fitful sleep he woke and trudged downstairs feeling hungover, his father was sat in the kitchen reading the Daily Prophet which he closed when he saw his son enter. "Bad night?" he asked seeing the suffering look on his face and James grunted a reply. "Want a potion for it?"

"No thanks, I'd rather have the pain, at least it's distracting," he groaned collecting a glass from the dresser and filling it with water. Harry watched his slow movements, like most people around them he had run out of things to say to his son and though it made him feel a bit like an idiot he remained quiet as James set about making some toast and a cup of coffee. "Are you seeing the children?" he eventually asked when his son sat down at the table and slid the now folded copy of the Prophet towards him.

"Tonight," he answered sullenly, "going to bring them to stay over here, if that's alright?"

"No problem with me and your mother will love it," he replied, "and Isabella?" he added tentatively.

"Who knows?" James said shrugging his shoulders, she had joined him for the Thursday feast but steered clear of him the whole time, eh wanted to see his daughter but he didn't want to make her miserable or lake any of this harder on her.

"She'll come around James, or Holly will," he tried again.

"Stop saying that Dad," he barked back, "she won't she's made up her mind and-"

"But you said she didn't know," Harry interrupted in a stern voice, giving up hope was not going to help, he remembered that from his own mistakes once.

"Only because of the children," he answered gruffly, "so stop pushing it will you?"

"I'm sorry son," he whispered.

"And will everyone just stop being sorry?" he yelled as the flames in the fireplace turned green, Lily stepped out of them just in time to hear his slur but he ignored the fresh visitor and marched out of the room to wallow a little bit more alone.

"Oh," Lily shrieked as she dropped Roberto, who she had carried in her arms, onto the floor and watched him walk over to his grandfather.

"Ignore him Sweetheart, he's grieving."

"I know," she replied with a soft smile as she watched her father lift Roberto into the air and swing him around like he used to do with her when she was little. "Where's Mum?" she asked.

"Gone to see Holly," he coughed.

"Oh," she repeated feeling lost for any other words to say.

"Have you seen her at all?" Harry asked as he put his grandson back on his feet and sent him to the toybox they kept in the corner of the kitchen for all of their grandchildren to play from.

"No," she answered shaking her head, "I didn't know what to do for the best, it's all so…so tragic," she whispered. "Rose said that Holly stopped missing him," she went on. "I just don't understand how, they love each other so much Dad and I miss Raulph every day, I can't wait until he comes home again; how can it be so different for them?"

"I'm not sure Darling, but everybody's relationship is different, I keep trying to tell him that Holly might come around, he's been away for so long this time, it's bound to have affected them somehow, especially when Holly was just getting on with everyday life. She feels that she can cope without him but I think she might find that it's not a permanent thing, you know it's always a little bit strange when Raulph first comes home, you're used to it being just you and Roberto."

"Yes, but I never don't want him to be there," she interrupted.

"I know, but Holly I don't really think that's what Holly wants either. James won't listen to it though, he's adamant that it's all over and I don't know how to talk him around anymore."

"Oh Dad it can't be, they can't split up for good."

"I hope they don't," Harry returned.

"DO you think Mum will be able to change her mind? Is that why she's gone to see her?"

"She's gone to talk to her yes but I don't think it'll be as cut and dried as that, the only thing we can do is wait, and hope," he finished and his dole eyed daughter simply nodded her head at him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Thanks for the review! It's been a long time since I've been on but feels good to be back! In answer to the Albus question, there isn't a particular reason why he doesn't feature other than I've never identified with the character and I don't know why really, I think lily features slot because I've done a story about her so know the character, have toyed occasionally with writin about Albus but can't seem to find the inspiration with him (poor Alby!) "Nanna!" Millie squealed as Ginny Potter passed through the gate to Mill cottage then the toddler launched herself in her direction closely followed by Arthur and Ellie who had heard their sister's call. They were out in the garden again, making the most of the end of summer before they would be confined to the house. Holly was watching over them as Isabella was still hiding out in her room all day and she looked down at her feet when she saw her Mother in Law walking towards them all. She had known Ginny would visit eventually and she knew she didn't know what she would say to the mother of her now estranged husband; they would be naturally supportive to James and she was unsure of the kind of reception she would get.

"Hello Darlings," Ginny said softly when the triplets reached her. "I swear you've all grown again," she added taking two of them by the hand and continuing towards her woeful looking daughter in law who was sat on a blanket with a book. "Holly," she said as she approached and she lifted her head to nod. "Why don't you three go back to that game you were playing while Mummy and I have a chat?" Ginny continued softly turning to look at the children, "I'm sure Daniel will watch over you." Her other Grandson, who had been playing with a set of gobstones nodded his head at her enthusiastically and ran off down the garden with the triplets following in his wake, giggling and shrieking as they went.

"Ginny," Holly said in an almost broken voice, "Can…can I get you a drink?"

"That would be nice dear," she answered as Holly got to her feet and then she followed her into the kitchen and watched as she set about boiling the kettle. Her movements were nervous and she clattered many things around as she worked eventually making Ginny get up to take over; placing a hand over hers and taking the kettle she whispered, "I'm not here to lecture you Holly, I'm here to listen."

Holly looked up at her and a small whisper of relief covered her face, "I…I thought-"

"That I'd be here to have a go?" Ginny interrupted.

"Well…"

"Holly," she began softly, "I have been the wife of an auror for a long time, albeit a retired one for most of our lives, but I still understand what you are going through. I'm here to offer a sympathetic ear; someone who has been in your shoes before that might be able to give you another perspective perhaps. I love my son Holly but I love you too and I know how difficult it can be living with someone who is away all the time, it…changes things."

"Things changed for you and Harry too?" Holly gasped sitting down on a high stool by the kitchen bench as Ginny poured them both a cup of raspberry tea.

"Of course they did," she replied passing over the mug of hot liquid, "shall we go into the lounge?" she suggested and Holly picked herself up off the stool and trudged into the living room taking a seat in a large leather arm chair while Ginny sat opposite on the couch. "How are the children today?"

"Isabella still won't come down, except to eat, and I think Daniel is starting to get suspicious because of it; but the triplets just think he is away again at work; they are too young to remember his living here all the time," she sighed.

"And how are you?" she asked surprising her.

"I don't know," she replied honestly. "I keep thinking that I should feel different, that something should change now but…but it hasn't. I still feel the same as I did when he wasn't here and I don't know when or if that will change."

"I have to ask this Holly but do you think there could ever be a chance that you…you made-"

"A mistake?" she interjected looking down at her hands and Ginny nodded. "I've thought of nothing else since he left," she admitted. "When he came home I knew there was something wrong, something different between us. I told him that I had stopped missing him and stopped needing him because it felt strange to have him around again, even just being in the house and…and in our bed. When we talked about it and I admitted how I felt I expected things to change; I expected to feel some sort of relief but…but I didn't…I don't; I feel exactly the same as I did before, just…lonelier."

"I left Harry once," Ginny said making Holly gasp.

"What?"

"When James was nine; I took the children and went to Luna's father's house. I thought he was seeing someone else but of course he wasn't."

"So what...?"

"He had gone back to the ministry," she went on, "with Ron. They had gone back to work for Abery, the last head of the auror department, and he had hidden it from me. In all the time I thought he had been unfaithful I thought if I find out it was all wrong, if I've made a mistake I will feel so silly and stupid so eventually I had to let him explain; I had to listen. However when he told me the truth I just felt worse; of course I was relieved that he hadn't cheated on me but the fact that he had gone back to work made me so angry. He had put his career before me and the children; and as it was so dangerous I was scared that he would be taken away from us. I thought that if I made myself move on from him then I wouldn't be devastated if something happened to him."

"But you…you went back to him?"

"Because I knew that no matter what, I still loved him and…and wanted him."

"I still love James, Ginny and I always will but while he was away I got on with life; I brought up the children and learned to live without him; I stopped needing him. Surely you felt like that once, when Harry was away for a long time?" Holly asked.

"Just after we were married you know that Harry was taken from me. I was told he had died and my heart broke completely; but then we discovered that it wasn't true, that the ministry had covered up a blunder and he was just taken." Holly nodded her head; she knew this story as James had also worked on the case with the same Dark wizard involved. "He was gone for almost ten months, as you know while I was pregnant with James. In that time I had to learn to live without him and I had no idea when or if he would come back to me. When James was born I had to cope alone and yes I learned not to need Harry; but that didn't stop me from wanting him. And when he came back I let myself need him. You may think that you don't need James and there is nothing wrong with that Holly; we should all be able to live without a man but you have to ask yourself whether or not you want him because they are two different things. You have always been a fiercely independent woman and I admire that in you; being married to an auror has only developed that further; but just because you can live independently doesn't mean you have to. Search your heart Holly, your own, not the children's and think about what you want; you say you still love James but do you still want him? Because if you do, you need to be careful that you don't lose him."

Holly had begun to sob at her words and Ginny rose from her seat to put an arm around her shoulders, "I don't want to push you into anything Holly I just want you to be happy; but if you are not happy without him maybe you need to give it another chance. I know that James will do anything to make this work and it may be tough for a while but if you have any doubts at all about your decision you need to follow them; you need to be sure before you end your marriage for good. In the end I couldn't do it; even though I knew I could live without Harry if I had to I couldn't make that choice."

She stroked the sobbing woman's back and made shushing noises as Holly wept into her hands thinking about everything she had said. It had been a week since James had left and all she had actually done was think about him and think about what they had said; at night she laid awake thinking about her decision and even rolled to look at his empty space in the bed. She was used to the gap, it had been there for a long time, but as she thought about James only being at his parents house she had started to imagine him being there instead. This time he was only a floo away and the previous night as she had laid alone a tiny part of her had started to miss him a little bit. When she awoke she had dashed the thought away as feeling guilty but after listening to Ginny she wasn't so sure anymore; did she want to live without James? They had made promises, vows to one another that they would stay with each other through the bad and the good, wasn't this just a bad time? A consequence of his job? Would she really be happier if he left her home and her bed forever?

"Ginny I keep saying this, to everyone, but I just don't know. When I couldn't explain how I was feeling I just kept hoping that when he came back I would know; but then he did and nothing changed."

"It wouldn't at first," Ginny crooned sliding onto the chair arm and continuing to stroke her back, "when Harry first came home from Romania and I had James he asked me if he could watch as I breast fed him."

"What?" Holly asked in surprise looking up at her mother in law.

"I know," she chuckled back, "I could hardly believe it. What seemed like the most natural thing for him to be a part of felt like an intrusion to him; he felt so guilty for missing the pregnancy and James' birth that he needed to ask such a thing. You know how it feels when James first returns home; he feels like an intruder and you feel it too, don't you? He's there getting involved in the routines which you set up without him and I bet you get exasperated because he does that, and that makes you feel guilty." Holly nodded her head and looked up at Ginny, "Could what you are feeling just be a reaction to the guilt you have for thinking that you don't need him?"

She didn't answer the question but everything Ginny had said started to whir round and round in her head and she didn't know what she felt anymore. The only clear feeling she did carry now was guilt; guilt over what she had done to James; guilt over what she had done to the children, especially Isabella; and, as Ginny had said, guilt for knowing that she didn't need James anymore. "Need and want are two different things Holly and you have to think about them both, very carefully. Let me take the children for a while; spend some time alone without worrying about them; you need some space to think about yourself and about James," Ginny finished. "I'll take them over to the Burrow for a few hours, give you a break; Mum'll love to see them all! You can floo me when you want them home and I'll bring them straight back to you."

"Th…thank you," she croaked. "Where…where is James?" she asked.

"As far as I know he is at Grimmauld Place; he wasn't up when I left. Harry said he stumbled in after midnight from the Leaky Cauldron so he's probably got a bit of a thick head this morning. He'll be hiding out in his room no doubt because Lily was bringing Roberto over!"

"Oh no," Holly smiled remembering that Lily and Raulph's child was not the quietest she had ever met and she suddenly felt for James if he was suffering from a hangover too. "Did he…did he go alone?" she asked feeling a little guilty again; she knew he had only gotten drunk because of what was happening to them, "To the Cauldron?" she added.

"No, he was meeting Sal after he had dropped the kids off here; as far as I know they were together all night," she explained and Holly nodded. "So should I take anything with me?" she went on brightly trying to get organised so Holly could have a bit of time to herself without knowing that James would turn up with the children at anytime.

"Not really," Holly replied standing up and wiping her eyes; she was determined not to let the children see her upset and had put on a brave face all week to make sure of it. "There's plenty for them to do at the Burrow," she continued picking up the pots they had drunk from and walking into the kitchen. "I'll call Isabella," the weary woman went on as she walked to the bottom of the stairs and shouted her name. "Nanna Potter is going to take you all to the Burrow for a bit," she added hoping it would get a response but after a couple of minutes she still hadn't appeared.

"I'll go and talk to her," Ginny offered, "you get the others inside, we'll go by the floo."

Holly called across the garden to the bottom where Daniel and the triplets were playing hide and seek; she could see Arthur waiting by the tree as he had obviously been caught and Millie had just dragged Ellie from behind a flower pot. Daniel was down the side of the shed and from where she stood Holly could see him clearly but the seeker was searching in the wrong part of the garden,."You're far too cold down there," she called jovially as she walked down the lawn towards them and Millie turned to look at her mother. "Try that way," she whispered pointing towards the shed and the little girl toddled off in it's direction.

"Got you Daniel," she squealed as she grabbed her older brother's arm and pulled him out from the between the haphazard wooden shed and the tall grey stone wall which surrounded their grounds. It was one of the things that Holly loved about the house because the only way in or out was through the large iron gate along one side of the perimeter. The gates could only be opened from outside by a password and from the inside by one of the inhabitants so she always felt secure letting the children play alone outside.

"Mum, you're not supposed to tell her," Daniel whined as he trudged over to the tree they had used as a counting post. "At least she got Arthur first so it's his turn to seek!"

"You'll have to take the game to the Burrow," she explained at the four of them looked up quizzically, "Nanna is going to take you all over there so Mummy can have a bit of peace and get some jobs done!" she chuckled trying to remain as light hearted as she had throughout the separation.

"Yay! The Burrow," Millie sang as Ginny came back out of the house and hurried over to them, "Nanna!" she added as the older woman reached them, "Is Isabella coming?" she asked looking surprised not to see her eldest sister ready to join them.

"She's not in her room," Ginny explained when Holly looked quizzically at her, "and I checked Daniel's and the triplets' rooms too."

"But…she must be there somewhere," Holly replied starting to feel a slight sense of panic, "did you check the bathrooms?"

"Yes," Ginny said as Holly turned to walk back in the direction of the house.

"Isabella," she called in a high pitched voice as she walked but Arthur called out to her and made her stop.

"She's not inside," he said in a matter of fact tone of voice, "she went out."

"She went out?" Holly asked curiously walking back to her youngest son and dropping to her haunches so she could talk to him, "What do you mean she went out?"

"She went out of the gate," he continued pointing at the tall, wrought iron fixtures stood in the middle of the wall. He was talking as if Isabella going out was an everyday occurrence but Holly was suddenly starting to panic a little bit more.

"But Isabella knows she isn't allowed out of the garden," his mother said trying to convince herself as much as him that he must be wrong; she had probably decided to join the game of hide and seek and gone near the entrance to hide.

"But she went with a man," he said and Holly's hand flew to her mouth as she gasped.

"She…she…what?" Holly stuttered.

"A man," Arthur went on, "he came to the gate and she went out of it to him; he took her away with him."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Daniel," Ginny shouted turning to the eldest of the group, "did you see any of this?"

"It was while he was hiding," Arthur answered for him. "I hid in the bush over there and I watched her; I wanted to ask her where she was going but I didn't want Millie to find me," he explained.

"Arthur are you sure?" Ginny asked dropping down to his level; she could see Holly's panic get into full flow and the distraught woman stood up holding her hand at her throat.

Inside her head Holly could hear every thump that her heart made; she could feel the blood pumping around her veins as she thought about what her son was saying; Isabella wouldn't leave the garden with someone, not unless it was someone that she knew; but then she had been so angry with her mother for the last few days maybe someone had called and she pretended to have told her. "Could…could James have come for her?" Holly suggested trying desperately to find any explanation that didn't say she had left with a stranger.

"He…he wouldn't," Ginny said, "not without telling you."

"Then…then…Isabella," she screamed dropping to her knees on the grass; the triplets watched on completely unaware of how serious this was but Daniel understood and as he watched his mother dissolve into tears he too felt droplets of water start to trickle down his face.

"Is…Isabella?" he asked looking up at his grandmother who bent down to Holly and tried to bring her back to her feet.

"Holly," she whispered trying to keep her own feelings of dread and panic in check as she attempted to get the girl and her children into the house. "We need to go and see James," she finished and Holly nodded looking up at her mother in law with a face which had instantly drained of colour. She ushered the children into the house and over to the fireplace where she instructed Daniel to jump in and floo with Arthur to Grimmauld Place. Picking up Ellie she passed her to her mother who suddenly seemed to be in a complete daze and said sternly, "Holly take her with you." She reached out for her youngest and stepped into the fireplace robotically as Ginny reached down for Millie, enfolded her in her arms and flooed back to her own home.

In the kitchen at Grimmauld Place she found the children standing bewildered in the middle of the room by themselves and she could hear Holly desperately screaming her son's name from the hallway. Dropping Millie on the floor with her siblings and instructing them to stay there she ran out of the kitchen doorway and saw Holly dashing up the stairs to the first floor of the house, "James," she shouted frantically. Harry and Lily dashed out of the living room on the first floor and peered over the banister at the desperate girl as James stumbled out of his room on the landing above. "James," she called again when she saw him then she dashed up the second set of stairs as Ginny reached her husband. "Isabella," she panted when she reached him, "someone's taken her."

"What?" James barked blinking rapidly and staring at his distraught wife.

"Someone's taken her," she cried, "from the garden; Arthur says she opened the gate to a man and went with him," she dissolved into tears again at these words and James dragged her into his arms; whatever was going on between them he pushed aside as he tried to process the information she had just bombarded him with.

"She was in the garden?" he asked as Holly stood up on her own two feet again.

"Ginny and I were talking in the living room and I left the children to play. At some point she went out to the garden and Arthur says he watched her go," she began to explain. "God this is all my fault," she suddenly shrieked, "I should have stayed in the garden with them. I should have been watching them."

"Holly," James shouted, "this is not your fault; we have always left them to play in the garden alone; it is safe, we made it safe. Are you sure Arthur isn't confused?" he asked desperate not to believe what his wife was saying.

"She isn't in the house and he said he watched her open the gate to someone and leave."

"Isabella knows she shouldn't open the gate to strangers; surely she wouldn't…"

"But she's angry with us James, she's angry with me; what if someone came, someone called to her and she left out of spite, not realising what she was doing?"

"She…she," James stuttered but he couldn't find any other explanation for it and as he looked at his terrified wife he started to realise that something terrible had happened; someone had taken his daughter and he had absolutely no idea who, or why.

"What do we do?" Holly sobbed wiping tears from her eyes and falling forward.

She could barely hold herself up and as James enfolded her again in his arms he dropped his chin on top of her head and said honestly, "I don't know."

"James," Harry shouted dashing up the stairs to the upper landing and touching his shoulder, "you need to tell Beerney; you need to get someone out there to find her," he explained falling back on his auror training to stop himself from dissolving. "Go to the ministry and tell him what has happened; Lily will take the children to the Burrow and then we'll wait here."

Nodding his head at his father he released his wife but grabbed her hand and tugged her in the direction of the stairs; they ran down them swiftly and entered the kitchen to find their four other children standing there looking confused; Daniel was upset but the younger ones hadn't understood what had happened. "Arthur," James said dropping to his height and taking his hands. As he had released Holly's she had suddenly felt alone and wanted his comfort again but she stood back and watched as he questioned their son. "Did you see who Isabella went out with?" he asked trying to keep it light and not panic or upset the child who slowly nodded his head.

"It was a man," he replied.

"Did you see what he looked like?"

"No," he answered shaking his head, "he had a cloak on but I saw his beard it was black and grey and really long," he went on. "Has Isabella run away?" he asked in a curious tone.

"No Sweetheart," James said, "she's just gone out for a little while but Mummy and I need to know who she went with because we…we…" he looked to his wife for help and she dropped down to his level too gathering up Millie and Ellie as she did so.

"Silly Mummy forgot to tell Daddy who Isabella was going to a…a party with, it's Rosemarie's birthday," she lied, "and I can't remember who's Daddy was calling for her that's all."

"It wasn't Rosemarie's Daddy," Arthur said matter of factly.

"No, we know that," she said softly.

"Will she come home if we don't know who's Daddy she went with?"

"Of course she will," James answered, "we're going to go to the…party right now and check who's bringing her home. Can you three go with Daniel to the Burrow and wait for us there?"

"Yes Daddy," they answered in unison turning to look up at Lily who had entered the room behind them.

"Good, Aunt Lily's going to take you and Roberto's going too," he added trying to keep his tone of voice light; he wasn't sure telling them that Isabella was at a party had been the right thing to do but they wouldn't understand the truth.

Lily held out a hand and Ellie took it leading the others over to the fireplace with Roberto, "You wait here and I'll take you one at a time," she explained jumping into the fireplace with Roberto and disappearing with one last glance at her brother and his crumbling wife.

"Isabella's not at a party is she?" Daniel asked in a trembling voice when the triplets had walked away.

Holly and James looked at each other seeking confirmation as to whether to tell him the truth or not and James stepped towards him. "Daniel, you are a grown up boy now and we can tell you the truth," he had to swallow over the lump in his throat for his next words but managed to continue. "We don't know who Isabella has gone with but I promise you we are going to find her." His son's face had gone pearly white and James could see he was holding back tears, "Listen though, I need you to do Mummy and I a huge favour," he went on glancing at Holly who was also trying to keep her face from showing how truly terrified she was. "We need you to look after the triplets at Nanna Weasley's house," he went on. "Try to keep them busy and out of her way but don't tell them what we told you; they won't really understand and they will get too upset; do you think you can do that for us?"

"Yes Daddy," Daniel replied puffing out his chest and trying to look proud and grown up for his father; the gesture brought a tear to Holly's eyes and she had to reach out and hug him tightly before Lily beckoned for him from the fireplace as he was the last one to floo out of the house.

"You be a big boy now for Mille and Ellie and Arthur," she said as she let him go over to his Aunt and she bit back another sob as he whirled out of view looking worried but brave. When he had gone Holly collapsed onto a chair at the kitchen table and James instinctively flew to her side dropping a hand on her shoulder. She welcomed the touch and reached her hand up to his so he held it tight as she asked, "What do we do now?"

"We go to Beerney," James announced and she looked up at him with doleful eyes; his heart almost broke again as he reached out for her face with his other hand. "We'll find her," he added as he cupped her cheek and she leaned into him desperate for contact with someone, with him.

Holly jumped up and James grabbed her hand again pulling her towards the front door of the house, "We should apparate; the floo will be tied up at this time and the atrium will be packed. I can get straight into my office now," he announced knowing full well that Holly knew about the security changes at the Ministry which had happened since she had given up work; however explaining his every move seemed to be helping and she did not comment at all. Without even thinking about it James wrapped his arms around Holly when they were on the front steps of Grimmauld Place and side along apparated her to his office at the Ministry.

When they landed she clung on to him for a moment trying to compose herself before they went to speak to the head of department but as she finally stepped away from him James glanced at his desk and saw a small owl holding a scroll of parchment in its claws bearing his name. It was hunched up comfortably waiting silently for him and James wondered how it had actually managed to get into his office. All mail coming to the auror office was delivered to the central mail system and it was rare that a live owl got through these days. Before leaving the room to locate his boss James took the parchment from the unruffled bird and unfurled it. As he started to read the animal simply sat on the desk hooting quietly and watched him. "What is it?" Holly asked as he scan read it and she watched his face drain of colour. "James?" she asked when he looked at her and tried to curl it up, "Is it…is it about Isabella?"

"Holly," he said trying to keep control of his voice which was threatening to break.

"It is isn't it?" she gasped flying towards him but he grabbed hold of her hands and held her back. The parchment folded against her wrist as he held her back but she screamed at him, "James, what is it? Show me, show me what's in there."

"Holly, please calm down," he said slowly as she tried to wrestle herself away from him.

"I can't calm down," she sobbed, "show me what it says; she's my daughter too James, show it to me," she demanded wrenching herself away from him with a tremendous effort and grabbing the parchment in one hand. He reached out for her again but she evaded him and pulled the scroll open; James just stood and watched knowing he could not keep it from her anyway as she quickly read the first few words on the page. The more she read the wider her eyes grew and as she let it fall to the floor in horror he stepped towards her, "N..no," she uttered, "no…not…not Isabella, she's just a child, she's just…" But no more words came as a guttural moan escaped from her mouth instead and she stumbled forwards, "Isabella," she cried as he started to sob again too and pulled her once more into his strong arms.

For a moment she tried to fight him; tried to hit out at him to release some of her pain but as mournful sobs wracked her body she stopped pounding his chest and he held her tight allowing his own tears to fall again. "I'll get her back Holly, I promise. This is all my fault and I'll get her back," he crooned as he realised this was the third time somebody he loved had been taken from him and it was three times too many.


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks for review, would love to hear some more though, trying to update daily!

Chapter 8

_Dear Mr Potter,_

_If you ever want to see your daughter alive again you will follow my instruction to the letter; we have taken her for safe keeping until we have what we want and when we are satisfied she will be returned._

_We have companions in Azkaban and we demand their release immediately; they should have safe passage out of Britain and we will create a new identity for them. The men we require are Scorpius Malfoy and Theodore Nott, I am sure you remember them._

_When you have organised safe transfer for them out of the country you can let me know; this owl will find me. You have twenty four hours._

_Until then…_

_Yaxley._

"James," Beereny said solemnly as he dropped the parchment onto his desk and looked at the distraught couple standing in front of him. "I…I'm sorry," he added.

"So when can we get them out of there?" Holly shrieked looking at her old boss with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry?" Beerney asked looking at her curiously.

"Nott and Malfoy, how quickly can they be released from Azkaban?" she asked frustratedly.

"Mrs Potter, I am very sorry for your situation but we do not give in to any demands made upon the ministry like this."

"But they were made to James not the ministry," she barked unable to believe that he would think twice about this.

"Because he is an auror. He has been targeted as a member of the ministry and we cannot bow down to the demands of dark wizards just because he is an auror," he explained calmly. "It would be preposterous to contemplate the release of two known dark wizards and allow them to escape the country, especially considering the atrocities they carried out before they were arrested."

"But…but this is my daughter," she gasped, "my nine year old daughter; surely her life is more important?"

"To you, yes," he replied softly, "but to the rest of our world it is more important that we keep evil wizards locked away. We will follow ministry protocol for a kidnap situation Mrs Potter and assess the situation. This letter at least tells us who has your daughter and we can send out a reply to ask for more time. If we let them think we are going to follow their demands but need a little more time they may be patient and-"

"May be patient?" Holly shrieked.

"Yes Mrs Potter," Beerney replied trying to control his annoyance; he realised that having a child taken from you was horrifying and that Holly was understandably upset but he needed to get on with his job to ensure her daughter's safety as soon as possible without giving in to threats. "That will buy us a little more time to locate all buildings and land associated with the Yaxleys and indeed with the Notts and each place will be checked. Even the Malfoys could be in on the plot and a team will be sent out to Malfoy manor immediately." Holly shuddered as she remembered her own encounter with Scorpius Malfoy who had kidnapped her when she was pregnant with Isabella and a sob escaped her as she worried about her daughter being in the same situation.

"But…that will take ages, they will have…have…by then," she couldn't bear to utter the words that reminded her they had threatened Isabella's life. "This is my daughter; you have to let them go; you have to get her back," she screamed leaning over his desk and slamming her hands against it.

"James," Beerney said in a commanding tone, "talk to her; tell her to be reasonable; this is how we deal with kidnap cases. You know we cannot give into them; you know this is the way it has to be done," he stood up to reiterate his point and stared at his most talented senior auror. Holly turned to look at him aswell as she realised he hadn't added anything to her rant at his superior and she glared angrily in his direction.

"Holly…he's right, we…" she gasped loudly at his words and almost crumpled as she saw he had already given up the fight, "…we have to do it the proper way. Beerney's right this is ministry protocol and we have to follow it." He swallowed over a lump in his throat and almost cowered under the deathly gaze his wife was aiming at him as she stood speechless in front of the desk.

"But…but," she stuttered just staring wildly, "this…this is our daughter," she went on feeling her anger rise and in a venomous voice she turned back to Beerney and yelled, "you have to get Isabella back."

"Mrs Potter, I know this is a distressing situation for you but I suggest you go back to James' office and allow us to do our job."

"Distressing? Distressing?" she yelled loudly turning from James to Beerney and back again.

"Holly," James said grabbing hold of her arms and holding her tight, "we should let the department get started and go to my office like Beerney said," he continued steering her towards the door and looking gratefully at his boss.

As soon as they were back inside James office Holly turned on her husband in a rage he had never seen from her before; her worry and pain mingled with the anger she was feeling was a force to be reckoned with and she hit out at him as she screamed," How could you? How could you?"

"Holly," he said loudly grasping her wrists in his fist to stop her from raining blows on him.

"How could you abandon our daughter like that? How could you agree with Beerney? We'll never see her again," she was screaming with hysteria and trying to wrench her arms away from him as tears streamed down her face. "My baby," she sobbed, "Isabella."

"Holly," he shouted forcefully dragging her arms apart until she was face to face with him, "I am not going to abandon her, I'm going to find her," he finished and she stopped flailing her arms about.

"What?" Holly gasped.

"I can't sit back here and wait while Beerney drags out the process; Merlin knows what will happen to her in that time."

"But you…you told him," she muttered dropping her arms to her side as he let go of them.

"I told him to do what he needs to do so we could get out of there and I could do what I need to do. He can follow the ministry protocol and assess the situation if he wants to but I'm going in to fight; I am not leaving our daughter with a mad man for a moment longer than I have to." She stepped towards him and looked into his deep soulful eyes and he pulled her into his arms, "Holly I promise you I will bring her home."

"But how are you…?" she asked leaning into his shoulder and embracing the comfort he offered even though it did nothing to alleviate her worry or her pain.

"A few years ago I was working with an auror who had once been assigned to the muggle Prime Minister but had been posted back into our department. He was talking to me about some of the muggle security measures and the gadgets which they have to use; of course many of them we can do by magic but we can't track anything. He showed me a devise that they use for tracking a person, or a vehicle, something which intrigued me and he brought one for me to look at. It's in here," he continued letting her go and heading to a deep filing cabinet at the back of the room. "I put it away because I didn't have time to look at it and I suppose I forgot it was there. When Beerney said we could send the owl back I remembered this device," he continued as he opened the filing cabinet drawer and withdrew a small box. Holly stepped forwards to look more closely as he opened it and withdrew a tiny piece of silver metal, "This is attached to whatever it is you want to track," he began to explain, "and you can follow it using this," he went on holding up a large black gadget. It had a grey screen on it and reminded Holly a little bit of a picture frame with a blank insert. "I don't know how it works but it can calculate the longitude and latitude of the user's position. We can attach this to the owl," he went on pointing at the serene animal who was still sat quietly on James' desk waiting for its next assignment.

"And we…we…can find her?" Holly asked slowly looking at the two bizarre items in her husbands hands; she wasn't sure that what he said could really be done; but what else could they do?

"We can find where Yaxley is and then find Isabella," he said softly as she leaned against him. "The only thing is, this needs electricity to work," he went on holding up the device which would track the small metal chip.

"Your grandfather," Holly gasped, "he collected allsorts of muggle things, won't he have some electricity?"

"I think it runs through mains," James went on thinking hard, "I doubt granddad will have electricity; but Vernon might know how we can get some," he finished remembering that his adopted brother was a muggle born who had only come to live with them at the age of nine. Though he had fully embraced the wizarding world even before he knew he was a wizard he had later gone into the field of muggle relations working closely with those who had to be trained to work specifically with muggles and he would be able to advise them on how to find electricity. "I'll attach this to the owl now," he went on and using his wand he implanted the chip behind one of its feathers securing it with a permanent sticking charm just as his office door opened.

"James," said Terence Beerney in a quiet voice as he walked into the room and looked at Holly; he was expecting another outburst from her but when she said nothing he assumed that James had managed to make her see this was the best course of action. Upon his entry James had shoved the tracker devise into her hands and she had slid it beneath her robes quickly then she went to sit down at the desk but did not say anything at all to the man she felt had already let her down. "I need the owl," he coughed staring at the animal who was still looking unperturbed as it sat resolutely on James' desk.

"Of course," James replied feeling relieved that he had managed to fix the device to the animal before Beerney's arrival.

"James," he said quietly, "you know this is the sensible way; it is the only course of action we can take. I will make sure that we do everything in our power to get her back safe and sound."

"Thank you," James replied with a nod before walking him to the door and closing it behind him.

"Now what?" Holly asked with wide eyes.

"Now we speak to Vernon," he returned holding out his hand to her. She took it and together they apparated out of the office to find James' brother; both of them hoping that he would be able to help them in their search for Isabella who they were both desperately terrified for.

Appearing in the living room of Vernon's home a few seconds later had made Suzannah almost jump out of her skin but one look at the faces of the two visitors told her that something grave had happened. Vernon was at work but she flooed him immediately when James explained that Isabella had been kidnapped and they needed his help. The burly, soft hearted man appeared in the fireplace within minutes.

"James," he said in a strangled voice, "what happened?"

"Someone came and took her from the garden," James began, intending to keep his explanation brief. "They sent a ransom note to me at the ministry demanding the release of Nott and Malfoy from Azkaban."

"Malfoy?" he growled remembering the trouble he had caused for his brother over the years.

"It's Yaxley who wants them freed; but Terence refuses to bow to their demands and is following the ministry protocol which could take days. One of the old muggle Prime Minister's guards gave me this," he continued holding out the tracking system which Holly handed over from her robes. "I've attached the small chip to an owl which is being sent back to Yaxley; I believe this can track the animal as it flies?"

"Yes, it looks like a GPS system," Vernon replied taking the device from his sister in law and trying to switch it on. "A global positioning…" he continued but as he looked at the deathly pale faces of his brother and Holly he knew it did not matter what it was or how it worked; they just needed to know that it would. "Yes," he finished instead, "it will track the bird while ever the microchip is attached."

"It needs electricity I think," James went on lifting up the lead which he knew was the part that fed it power, "that's why we brought it to you; we don't know how…"

"I have a power supply in the office; sometimes I have to bring things like this home to work with before I show wizards what to do. Come on," he finished heading towards a small room at the back of the house where a multitude of muggle equipment was precariously placed. They dodged a few items which looked ready to fall over and marvelled as he plugged the device in for them and stared curiously at the screen which lit up and immediately revealed a flashing red dot on an animated map. "It's like a computer," Vernon went on to explain as they stared at it. "This tell you the coordinates," he said pointing to a row of numbers along the bottom of the screen, "and this flashing dot is where the owl must be."

"It's still at the ministry," James concluded after reading through the digits on the monitor, "I know the coordinates for there; we had to learn them in basic training."

"So if you just watch the flashing dot, when it starts to move you can track where it's going and…where it ends up," he finished looking morosely at the anguished pair, "I'll…I'll leave you to it; if you have any problems I'm just next door."

"Thank you Vernon," they said in unison as they sat down to watch the tiny blinking dot on the screen.

"So now we just…wait?" Holly said in a crumbling voice.

"That is all we can do," James replied instinctively reaching out to take her hand; she let him hold it feeling that she needed his touch. "This is the quickest way I know; even if it does seem slow at the moment. She could be anywhere; at least this way we can get to her as soon as the owl does," he started to stroke her hand with his thumb as stray tears started to fall down her cheeks again and he tentatively reached up to wipe them away. At his touch she gasped but allowed him to continue leaning into his hand and closing her eyes.

"She will be so scared," Holly whispered barely audibly, "I can't bear to think of it."

"I know," he replied, "but she is strong; she has always been a fighter Holly, our little fighter remember?"

"I remember," she answered opening her eyes to look at him and thinking about their wedding day when she clung on for dear life despite all the odds.

"I cannot begin to imagine what she is going through but I know she can survive; she has your feistiness," he smiled.

"And your courage," Holly returned lifting her other hand on top of his.

"We made a good girl," James added trying to find some way of filling the empty void they had while all they could do was sit and wait. "I'm sorry that this has happened to her," he continued after a few minutes, "she would never have been in danger if it wasn't for me."

"This isn't your fault James," Holly crooned.

"It is!" he barked back making her jump; feeling angry with himself he jumped to his feet and started to pace the room. "I should have given it up sooner; I should have realised what was most important to me, before it was too late," he whispered looking away from her. "If I'd have left earlier then maybe there would still be a me and you; she wouldn't have been angry at us either and she wouldn't have been a target, none of you would be. I was stupid to think I could have a family and be an auror; she would be okay if it wasn't for me."

"She wouldn't be here at all if it wasn't for you," Holly whispered from right behind him and he turned to see her standing close to him. Reaching out for his hand with one of hers she leaned up to his face and cupped his cheek with the other, "And neither would Daniel and the triplets; you can't blame yourself James for what other people do. I am terrified for her and about her but you have always done your upmost to keep your family safe; this just…just happened," she went on gazing up at him with doleful eyes, "and placing blame is not going to bring her back sooner." Her voice cracked as she once more thought about her daughter's predicament and she stepped closer to her husband wrapping her arms around his back for comfort; they both needed it and they sought it in one another.

He kissed the top of her head softly and eventually she looked up into his woeful, guilt ridden face; without thinking about anything else other than the comfort she still needed Holly reached up with her lips and searched for his but as they were about to touch James suddenly turned and looked away. "Holly," he gasped and she turned her head to look at the flashing red dot on the monitor which had caught his attention, "it's moving."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Dad, we need to use the library," James called as he and Holly jumped out of the fire in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place five minutes later.

"Of course son," Harry replied jumping to his feet and looking at his wife who looked as shocked as he did. Since the two of them had apparated from the house over an hour ago they had both sat by the fire on tenterhooks waiting for news from their son; they were full of anguish for their first born granddaughter and terrified about what might happen to her. Lily's head had intermittently appeared in the grate looking as frantically worried as they did but they had only been able to say that there was no news yet. She had reported that the triplets were playing but Daniel wouldn't get out of the chair by the fire and was simply staring at it waiting for his parents to appear with his sister.

Ginny and Harry followed the other two as they hurried hand in hand up the stairs to the study where volumes upon volumes of books were stored, some of which were almost a thousand years old. If it had not been for the situation they were in they might have commented on the intimate touch they shared but it went by unnoticed as they wondered what was going on. "James," Harry gasped when he found him searching a shelf of old books in a back corner, "what is going on?"

He paused momentarily to look at his parents who were as distraught as they were and garbled a quick but sufficient explanation, "When we got to the ministry there was a note from Yaxley. In return for Isabella's life he wants Malfoy and Nott released from Azkaban and given free passage out of the country." Ginny gasped and grabbed her husband's arm as he continued, "Beerney's following ministry protocol and drawing up a list of all deeds known to the Yaxleys, Malfoys and Notts, but that will take so long; we can't wait for that; I can't do that to Isabella," he breathed knowing that his father knew exactly what it was like to wait for procedures to be followed.

"But what else can you do? If Beerney won't give in to Yaxley's demands what other way is there to get her back?"

"We sent an owl, the owl he had sent the ransom with; he wanted us to reply when we could guarantee their release," Harry looked at his son curiously as James turned back to search the shelves again but continued with his explanation. "It's too complicated to explain how but I used a muggle tracking device to find out where the owl went when Beerney sent a note saying he needed more time and we have the…ah," he paused as he pulled out a dusty old book. It was large and bound in cracked brown leather; the parchment pieces inside it were brown and faded but as James started to turn the pages Harry noticed that it was an old atlas of Great Britain. He had looked at it a few times himself but never used it to locate anywhere as the ministry's extensive and up to date maps were much better.

"James why do you need that? It's ancient and probably out of date," Harry said stepping forward and looking over his son's shoulder; Holly was sat on the floor at his side, "how will this help?"

"Because the longitude and latitude references won't have changed and that is all we need; if we go to the ministry Beerney will know that I'm taking it into my own hands and…there," he said stopping on one of the fading brown pages.

"James I don't understand," his father said softly.

"Yaxley, he's here," James began, turning the map to face Harry and pointing at an area marked Dartmoor, "the device gave us this reference when the owl stopped moving so this is where he must be; if we find Yaxley I will find Isabella." Holly moaned slightly at this and he reached out a comforting hand to stroke her arm; she leaned into him again but within seconds he had jumped to his feet and was heading to the door of the study.

"James, I'm coming with you," Holly said jumping to her feet and barrelling to his side.

"No, Holly this is too dangerous; you should stay here with Mum and Dad; let me find her; I promise I'll bring her home," he had turned to look at her and took a step in her direction but he stopped at the wild look in her eyes.

"She's my daughter too," she screamed placing her hands on her hips and glaring at him, "I am not going to stay behind and wait worrying about you as well as her; I need to be there James; I need to help you," her voice cracked on these words as she knew the only thing keeping her from breaking down completely was concentrating on finding and rescuing Isabella. If she had to stop and wait anymore she would give in to the pain and sorrow within her and sob her heart out. "James, please," she added as her face fell and a soulful look crept into her eyes.

"Dad, can we take the cloak?" James asked turning to his father who looked wide eyed when he realised his son was going to allow her to accompany him.

"Yes son but…but maybe Holly…" he stuttered turning to look at his wife and appealing for help.

"Holly," she said softly walking over to her anguished daughter in law, "I don't think it is a good idea for you to go out there with James; he knows what he is doing and-"

"Ginny," she interrupted in a woeful voice, "she's my daughter," she finished hoping that as one mother to another the older woman would realise that she had to go.

"This is just wasting time," James shouted, "Holly you stay under the cloak and by my side, do you understand?" she nodded mechanically at him. "And keep your wand in your hand at all times, come on," he finished grabbing the cloak which Harry had just removed from the deep bottom drawer of his heavy oak desk and then they all flew in convoy back down the well trodden stairs to the front door.

"The children?" Holly gasped turning to look at Ginny as James opened the front door.

"Are fine," she reassured her with a smile. "Be careful, both of you," Ginny added holding back her tears as her husband came to stand behind her and the two younger adults apparated from the front doorstep, once again wrapped up in each other.

They landed on a windswept bleak hill in the middle of a field and James let his wife go as he started to turn around surveying their surroundings; there were sheep dotted around in the fields which stretched out almost as far as the eye could see. A few trees grew intermittently over the hills but most of the vegetation was made up of gorse and wild grasses which the animals grazed on. In the distance James saw an old rugged track leading over the top of a craggy rock and he tugged on Holly's hand as he set off to follow it.

They scrambled hurriedly up a steep rise and dropped to their haunches at the top hiding behind some vegetation which obscured them from view by anyone on the other side. Carefully parting the bush with his hands James peered through and saw a short valley; at the bottom of it was a small woodland area but there was nothing else as far as the eye could see; nothing habitable anyway other than a crumbling wreck jutting out from the wooded area. The wreck looked as if it might have been a stately home at one time but now it looked dangerous with loose bricks sticking out at various angles and collapsed roof beams leaning against the walls. There was a small driveway leading up to what would once have been an impressive main entrance but the building had only two walls which reached two storeys high while the others were completely demolished. He groaned in frustration and turned to look at his wife, "There's nothing, nothing that could be used to keep or hide someone," he said bitterly. "Unless he's in the wood," he added desperately trying to find a reason why the owl would have flown here. In his mind he was starting to worry that either Yaxley had come here to wait for the bird or it had simply needed a rest and stopped for a while. They had not continued to watch the muggle tracking after the blinking red light had stopped and James was now wishing he had at least asked Suzannah to keep surveillance.

"Could he be hiding somewhere inside it?" Holly asked, desperately trying not to come to the same conclusions as James but it didn't really look big enough for anything to hide in it. Apart from an area blocked by the desolate old building they could see straight through the trees to the hillside beyond it.

"We'll have a look," James replied grabbing her hand again and pulling her to her feet, he could not bear to give up now and needed to at least see if there was anything down there which might give them another lead to follow.

They hurried down the craggy side occasionally stumbling over rocky areas and near the bottom of the valley Holly lost her footing and twisted over her ankle landing in a heap behind James. She squealed slightly and James turned to look at her as she pushed herself into a sitting position and reached out for her ankle. "Are you alright?" he asked dropping down by her side and tenderly reaching out for the ankle which he could see was already beginning to swell as she rolled her trousers back.

"Great," she sobbed feeling stupid and frustrated, "this is really going to help."

"Let me see," he said lifting her ankle up a little and resting it on his knee. "I might be able to take some of the swelling away," he went on reaching for his wand and pointing it at Holly's lower limb. As part of his auror training he had had to learn some basic healer skills for use out in the field when they had to patch colleagues up as best they could before getting them back to St Mungos. Whispering a spell and concentrating hard he moved his wand slowly over her swollen ankle and they both watched as it immediately began to decrease in size; Holly could feel an almost icy sensation as the wand travelled over her and she felt instant relief from the pain. "It won't be healed completely," James said looking back up at her, "but it will be easier to walk on. You might have a bit of a limp though," he chuckled as he put her leg back on the floor and stood up.

Reaching out for her he tugged her back onto her feet and though she wobbled as she took a couple of steps Holly's determination to find her daughter erased the discomfort and she stepped forward again. James approached her side and wrapped his arm around her waist to make it easier for her and together they took a few more steps, she was about to open her mouth and say thank you to him when she just stopped and stared straight ahead of her. "James," she gasped as she stopped moving and lifted a hand to point in the direction of the woodland they were heading for, "look!"

He turned his head to follow the line of her arm and then gasped audibly as his gaze fell not upon the crumbling ruin they had seen at the top of the hill but upon the stately home they had expected it once to look like. Spying a couple of trees to their right James helped Holly over to them and hid her before he peered around and looked once more at the wreck which was no longer crumbling and forlorn. The driveway he had seen was now magically enhanced and sported two enormous lion shaped sculptures at its entrance. It swept it's way up to the porch he had imagined which had two columns on either side of a large oak doorway. Imposing sash windows were positioned equidistant apart along the front of the house and around the top was a striking battlement imitation stone effect with grotesque gargoyles on each corner overlooking the garden at the front. The house looked as if it had not been properly lived in for a while and the garden was overgrown with grass and weeds; the windows were dark and it still had a forlorn look about it but was much more impressive than the wreck it had been. "It must be hidden by enchantments like Hogwarts," James began in a whisper, "so that muggles will stay away and so it is not noticeable until you pass the magical protection barrier."

"So…so Isabella could be in there?" Holly whispered half relieved that they might have located her but still frantic with worry about what might have happened to her.

"I hope so," James replied in a gritty sounding voice, "we have to go and find out. How's your ankle?" he asked, "Do you think you can still walk on it?" She nodded her head determinedly and stood up passing her weight to her uninjured leg but proving she could go on with her husband. "We'd better get under this," he continued removing the invisibility cloak from his pocket and he flung it around Holly and himself so they could step out into the open again. "Hopefully we won't have already been seen; if they believed Beerney's message and think we are going to give in to them then they may not have high security around the place just yet." James was desperately hoping that this was true as they began to edge closer to the building and then skirted it looking for a way in.

Their movements were slower under the cloak but Holly gritted her teeth and kept up with James despite the throbbing in her ankle. Eventually they came across an old hatch which James thought might lead into a cellar and they advanced slowly towards it making sure the invisibility cloak was still covering them completely. When they reached the rusting metal trapdoor James lifted the handle and was surprised when it opened immediately; either this was the wrong place or they were a little lax over security but he desperately hoped it was the latter. Below the trapdoor was a set of steps leading down into the darkness and the two worried parents dropped into the steps simultaneously and then James pulled the door back over behind them.

There was barely any light at all except for a feint glimmer from one tiny window above the steps which just offered them enough to see them safely to the long stone floored corridor at the end of them. It stretched off in two directions and neither end could be seen because it was so dark and there were no other windows anywhere along it to give more light. James lit the end of his wand and held it up in both directions peering as far as he could but all he could see were small stone doorways scattered symmetrically down the corridor each of which had a heavy looking oak door set in them. "Maybe we should split up?" Holly suggested lighting her own wand and seeing exactly the same in the opposite direction, "You go that way and I'll search down here."

"Good idea," James said stepping out from under the cloak; he had just spotted a second set of steps which presumably led up into the house and they were on his side of the corridor; if there was any danger of them being detected people would surely come down them and he would face the danger before Holly. "You take the cloak," he continued, "and this," he added holding out the deluminator in his hand for Holly to take.

"But we'll be leaving together James," she uttered quietly, "all of us."

"I know, but if anything happens and I need to stay and fight you have to get Isabella out of here," he saw the grave look cross her face and continued as firmly but sensitively as possible. "She is my main priority Holly, she...and you," he added staring into her deep blue eyes, "if you find her you get yourselves out of here as soon as possible; you know how this works and I need you to go. Do you understand Holly?" he asked as he saw the doubt cloud her eyes. "Do you?" he repeated when she did not answer and slowly, with a few tears pricking her eyes, she nodded her head at him. "If I find her I will come down here for you and we will leave together; but if you find her, you go," he stressed. "I can take care of myself," he added gently reaching up to rub her arms and smiling softly.

He let go of her arms and turned to walk away but Holly grabbed one of his hands and turned him back. "James," she whispered taking his other hand as well, "I love you," she finished leaning up to quickly kiss his lips and holding back the tears which threatened to overwhelm her at any moment.

"I know," he replied reaching up with one hand to stroke her cheek and then freezing as a clatter from the house above disturbed them. "Go," he said holding out her hand in the direction of the slightly safer end of the corridor, "and hurry," he finished letting go of her hand as he slowly began to creep along his side holding his lit wand aloft and casting an eerie green glow ahead of him. Holly watched it for a moment but it disappeared quickly as he walked further away and biting back a fresh wave of tears and remembering her daughter she held her own wand up and set off in the opposite direction.

Holly paused at every doorway and tried the door handles; they each opened with ease and she found behind them an assortment of rooms. Some housed dusty wine bottles but most of them were empty of anything but shelves and some equipment; she could tell that certain rooms had once been used for hanging meats and storing various food items but they had evidently been unused for some time. At the last doorway she stopped and tried to turn the door handle; like all the others it was a heavy wrought iron circular handle which lifted a latch in the other side. However after turning the handle and pushing against this one Holly found it did not open and as she lifted her wand up and down she saw two heavy metal bolts slid shut into the stone alcove; one at the top and one at the bottom. Her heartstrings tugged as she realised this might be the place where her daughter was and as she slowly slid the bolts back with a lot of effort she held her breath and did not release it until the door was opened and she gazed into a tiny room lit by a torch in a wall bracket.

The room smelt of damp and she could feel it seeping in through the stone walls; the floor was bare like all the others but pushed up against one wall was a wrought iron bed frame with a thin mattress laid above it and on top of a blanket sat a tiny looking girl with long dark hair and wide terrified eyes. Holly let out the breath she had held and felt her body relax a little as she stared at her frightened daughter, "Isabella," she gasped expecting the child to run into her arms.

But instead she backed up against the wall and hugged her knees as she sobbed, "Who…who's…the…there?" Realising that she was still wearing the invisibility cloak Holly quickly discarded it and as she came into view the little girl jumped from the bed and ran headlong towards her. "Mummy," she cried when she reached her arms and Holly lifted her up into a tight hug and rocked her from side to side as they both cried. "Oh Mummy, I was so scared," she gasped through her tears.

"I know Darling, I know," she crooned as she stroked her hair and squeezed her tightly, "I was so scared for you."

"Mummy I'll never, never go to the gate again; I'll never… I'm so…sorry," she could barely speak through her sobs but Holly continued to rock her gently.

"I doesn't matter now," she whispered, "everything's going to be alright, I promise," and they stood for a few moments longer crying and holding one another until Holly realised she still had to get the child out. Lifting the deluminator up in her hand she prepared to click the top and get them away but her heart felt heavy and though she had promised to leave straight away she could not leave her husband behind. "Listen sweetheart," she said dropping the child back to her feet, "we have to go and find Daddy and then we can get away from here."

"Dad…daddy's here?" she croaked not expecting her parents to be together.

"Of course he is," she replied stroking back her messy hair, "he's out there; but we have to find him. Now listen I want you to stay really close to me and we're going to hide under this cloak," she started to explain, "it's Granddad Potter's invisibility cloak, "do you remember it?" The bewildered girl nodded her head as Holly went on, "Now you have to stay close so we can both hide under it and then no one will be able to see us."

Still holding the deluminator in one hand and grabbing her daughter's hand with the other Holly set off out of the room and back down the corridor stealthily keeping close to the wall and finding their way in the darkness. When they reached the steps where Holly and James had entered the building she paused and looked down the other end of the passage; without her wand light she could see nothing but knew they had to keep going in order to find James so they continued slowly along the stone floored passage.

They had only taken a few steps when a feint greenish glow caught their eye a little further ahead but afraid to make a noise and alert anyone to their presence Holly continued to lead their little girl down to the glow. As they approached she gasped loudly and stopped so the child walked into her legs; seeing the greenish glow now right in front of them and its source clearly on display Isabella peered curiously at the floor and then bent down to pick it up, "Mummy, what is it?" she asked looking up at her as Holly dropped the cloak.

However in the darkness she could not see the look of abject terror on her mother's face as she answered in a cracked whisper, "It's Daddy's wand."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW OR I WILL WITHOLD FURTHUR CHAPTERS! "James," Holly gasped as she heard a whisper and another eerie greenish glow appeared in front of them; she grabbed hold of Isabella tightly and pulled her close to her body as James suddenly came forward into her view. He was squirming against something and as she realised he was stumbling in their direction she noticed an arm across his neck, an arm that was holding a lit wand aloft. James' other arm was twisted behind his back and as they both stepped out of the shadows Holly saw that a huge and burly man had James completely trapped and defenceless. "Oh," she shrieked as her daughter clung to her leg.

"Get her out of here," James shouted; then he gagged as the man holding him squeezed his throat tightly, "n…now!"

"James," she repeated.

"Now now now, James," the gruff sounding man said menacingly, "there is no way out for any of you! And I must say my master will be pleased when I tell him we have three defenceless Potters now; Beerney will work much faster if he knows we have his most talented senior auror as well as his precious wife and daughter. And if he won't bow to our demands we shall at least have our pick of who to kill and show him that we mean business."

"H-o-l-l-y," James croaked again staring desperately at his wife and willing her with his mind to take their daughter away from the danger.

"Save your strength Potter," the man spat, "I told you there is no way out now."

Holly stared at her husband who's eyes were straining and she slowly removed the tarnished silver delumintor from her pocket. She watched him make an almost imperceptible nod with his head and with tears in her eyes she made sure Isabella was as close as possible and then she clicked the top and watched as small bubbles of blue light emerged from the end. As they travelled into her body she saw a confused expression cross the other man's face and noticed a hint of relief in her husband's eyes, his wife and daughter were going to be safe. She tried to mouth 'I love you,' to him but she was gone before she could and seconds later as she landed on the front steps of Grimmauld Place with her daughter in her arms she collapsed in sobs which started to wrack her body.

Isabella jumped to her feet immediately and began hammering on the door to her grandparent's house; a moment later the door was opened by her grandmother who screamed when she saw them and held her arms out to the child who jumped into them. "Oh Isabella," she cried stroking her as tears began to fall freely down both their faces. Behind her Harry also heaved a sigh of relief but then both of them froze as they stared at the weeping heap on the steps before them.

"Holly?" Harry said softly as he passed his wife and reached down to help her up, "What's the matter? Where's James?"

As she hobbled to her feet and leaned against her father in law for support the distraught woman turned to look at them both and uttered, "They…they got him," and then burst into fresh sobs. Ginny let out a guttural moan and placed Isabella onto her feet ushering her into the house quickly and closing the door behind Harry and Holly when they had entered the narrow hallway. "We split up to find her and when I had Isabella I went back to find James but…but they had caught him and he…he…he told me to get her out. Ginny I left him there," she wept, "I left him alone and defenceless."

They had reached the kitchen table by then and she collapsed onto a chair pulling her daughter into her arms and burying her face in her hair as Harry approached her and whispered, "What do you mean defenceless?"

Taking the wand from her daughter's hands she held it out to James' parents who gasped as they recognised it. "It was on the floor and Isabella picked it up; then he told me…he told me to…go," she sobbed, "oh Merlin, why did I leave him?" she asked.

"Because he told you to Holly," Harry said sternly holding himself together and stroking his wife's arm, "you were protecting your daughter and it is what James wanted."

"We have to go back," she implored lifting her head swiftly and letting Isabella go. "Harry we have to go back and find him. Now!" she screamed jumping to her feet and grabbing his arm. "I can take you there; we can find him; we can save him…we have to save him," she said wiping her eyes of tears and looking determinedly at her father in law. Behind him Ginny was trying to hold herself together too in the wake of the news that her son had been caught. It was her biggest fear and it had come true; but she also knew that neither Holly, James nor Isabella were at fault; he had done the noble and heroic thing and made them leave. "Ginny take Isabella to the Burrow, please," she implored, "I have to go back."

She nodded her head and took Isabella's hand heading straight for the fireplace and Holly ran swiftly back along the corridor to the front door with Harry close on her heels. Once outside she took his hand and concentrated hard as she turned on the spot and side along apparated them both back to the large imposing mansion she had just left. It was evidently protected from apparition as they landed near the top of the hill where the building appeared as a ruin to them both. "Holly what is this?" Harry asked looking at the crumbling haphazard structure.

"It's an illusion," she explained starting to run down the hill. "It must have enchantments because you can only see it when you get…closer," she finished as they crossed the invisible boundary and the impressive house appeared in its entirety. "Down here," she continued as Harry paused to take in the change and she tugged his arm to keep him moving in the direction of the cellar cover they had used to enter the building. She lifted the hatch with ease and began to climb inside running down the steps, ignoring the ache in her ankle and holding her wand ahead of her, already lit in anticipation of the darkness. Harry was close behind and lit his own wand as he disappeared down the dark staircase. "It was here," she whispered stopping at the place where she had seen James's wand on the floor. "He must be behind one of these doors," she continued lifting her wand to show her companion what he was searching.

They hurried together along the corridor listening carefully and being ever watchful for someone finding them; Holly had the deluminator held tightly in her hand and was intending to click it as soon as she had hold of her husband. They checked door after door, all of which were unlocked and empty, and she was feeling frustrated as they reached the last one at the opposite end of the corridor from where she had found Isabella. When Harry opened it and found yet another empty room she visibly deflated and had to lean against the wall to keep from collapsing again. "There were some stairs leading up to the house back there," Harry whispered determined not to lose hope for his own piece of mind and he tugged on Holly's hand as he set off back along the corridor.

Halfway along the passage Holly slid on something slippery and would have fallen if Harry's instincts had not made him grab hold of her; steadying her back on her feet he dropped down to see what had made her fall and lifted up in his hands the invisibility cloak she had dropped when they had found James' wand. "Quick let's get under here," Harry said holding it out for her and then he slid beneath it standing close to the worried girl who was eager to keep moving. They climbed the stairs slowly and at the top listened at the door for a few moments before opening it.

On the other side of it was a once lavish kitchen which had not been used properly for a long time; a couple of broken dishes were laid on a wooden table in the centre and a pile of dirty cups and plates were piled high in the stone sink. They glanced around quickly and then edged their way to a door on the opposite wall. Once more Harry listened carefully before opening and moving into a long landing which had seven other doors along it spaced equidistant from each other like the cellar had had. Including the doorway they were stood in there were four on either side of an impressive staircase leading up to the first floor .

Moving stealthily from room to room they checked them all; first downstairs and then up staying hidden beneath the invisibility cloak at all times. They found a back staircase leading up to a variety of attic rooms but within minutes of searching these they could draw no other conclusion and with a heavy heart Holly dropped onto one of the carpeted marble steps in the main hallway. "They've gone," she whimpered as Harry sat beside her and placed a consoling arm on her shoulder.

"They knew you would come back Holly and have had to move on," he said softly. "But that does not mean we give up hope," he continued stoically saying it as much for himself as for her. "Even without his wand James is a very competent auror and will not give up without a fight." They sat for a few moments longer on the steps, Holly with her head in her hands and Harry stroking her back, but eventually he whispered, "We should go back to the Burrow and decide what to do next." Holly nodded her head in understanding and allowed her father in law to lead her out of the abandoned house and beyond the wards until the building became a desolate wreck once more; then they turned on the spot together apparating straight to the garden of the Burrow.

"Mummy," Ellie squealed as she saw her Mother and grandfather approaching the house from the kitchen window; bounding from her seat where she had been playing with Millie and a couple of well used rag dolls, she headed to the back door and attached herself to her mother's leg as she entered. Arthur was curled up asleep on a huge cushion before the fire with Roberto but Daniel and Isabella were nowhere to be seen.

Lifting her youngest daughter up into her arms she glanced at Ginny and Molly who were sat by the fire looking frantic with worry and shook her head slowly as Harry walked over to his wife and explained, "They had abandoned the place, understandably." Both of their heads fell simultaneously; but determined not to give up he continued in a stern voice, "But I said this to Holly and I will say it to you, James is an able and competent auror with or without his wand and they will still be keeping him alive until they have what they want."

"Where are the other two?" Holly gasped.

"Sitting in the other room," Molly said softly in reply, "Daniel wouldn't leave her side when she got here." She smiled and with a solemn nod Holly trudged in the direction of the Weasley's family living room. When she entered she saw Isabella sat on a window seat staring out at the trees which surrounded most of the house; Daniel was laid across it with his head on her lap and he was sleeping soundly.

"Mum," she gasped as she saw her and Daniel stirred at the sound of her voice. Holly walked over to the seat and squeezed herself in between her eldest children hugging them both as Daniel sat up. "Where's…where's dad?" she asked quietly looking frantically at her brother but all Holly could do was shake her head and hold back her sobs.

Unbeknown to Holly her husband's parents had followed her into the room and Ginny spoke for her, "We haven't found him yet Sweetheart; but we will; don't you worry. And Daddy is a strong wizard who will do everything he can to come back to us; I promise," she finished taking a seat next to Daniel, who turned to hug her, and looking sympathetically at her daughter in law. She was experiencing pain and anguish just like her but was putting on a brave face for the children just like she knew Holly was doing.

"It's my fault isn't it?" Isabella murmured dropping her head and releasing her hold on her mother.

"What?" Holly gasped turning to face her daughter who looked back up with doleful eyes.

"It's my fault that Daddy is…is… If I hadn't gone with that man at the gate then you wouldn't have had to come and find me and…and Dad would be… here with us," she sobbed. "I know I shouldn't have opened the gate but he said he could help me stop being angry and…and so I…I…"

She burst into tears and Holly wrenched her into her arms rocking her gently and crooning, "None of this is your fault Honey, none of it. If anyone is to blame it is me." Harry and Ginny both looked at her curiously as she went on with wide eyes, "If I hadn't said what I said; If I hadn't made him want to leave then…then you wouldn't have been angry at all and…and we'd all still be together. Ginny this is all because of me and…and I didn't mean it. I was confused and…and it was strange and…what did I do?" She looked imploringly at both Harry and Ginny as tears started to fall down her face again and the latter reached out to comfort her gently shooing Daniel and Isabella out of their way.

"Holly," she crooned, "this is not your fault either; it is no body's fault. These evil wizards they…they find a way," she continued looking up at her husband who completely understood what she was saying. "Even if you and James had still been…together, they would have found another way. Who ever came for her took a chance and it worked; but if Isabella had not gone with him they would have found another way to take her. Trust me; I know," she concluded rocking the distraught woman again while the two sobbing children clung to their grandfather. They both wept for a while; two anguished women desperately afraid for their loved one but eventually the younger of the two lifted her head and looked up at Harry.

"What do we do now?" she asked solemnly.

"We have to go back to Beerney," he returned and she nodded her head even though she knew he was going to be angry and would still refuse to bow down to the threats of these terrorist wizards.

They were spared the journey however when they walked back into the kitchen and saw the flames in the fireplace turn green. Ron and Hermione had turned up while they were in the living room after Lily had visited everyone to fill them in on what had happened and they turned to see who was going to follow them out of the grate expecting it to be their niece. As all sets of eyes stared at the emerald flames the image of Terence Beerney appeared looking sternly at them all as he stepped out into the cosy kitchen. "We have received another owl," he said in a controlled voice but they could all see his was angry and trying to contain it because this was Harry Potter's family and because he knew they were all suffering terribly.

"They have informed us that you found them and have released Isabella for yourselves," he began staring at Holly with a severe expression, "however they also say that they now have James as a hostage instead; is this true Harry?" he asked turning his gaze.

"Yes," Harry replied holding his own and standing up to the man who was evidently angry that they had taken the matter into their own hands.

"Mrs Potter, you did not follow the best course of action," Terence said turning to look at her once more.

"But it was the only course of action James would have taken Terence," Harry cut in sternly stepping to Holly's side, "and the only one I took, once." he glanced at his wife as he said this remembering his own auror days when he had broken the rules and searched for Ginny himself. "Did you really expect them to sit back and wait for protocol?"

"Yes," Beerney growled but seeing the angry look cross Harry's face he continued, "but I can understand why you did what you did. However, it would have been better if you had come to us when you knew where your daughter was and allowed us to organise a team who would have got her out without another hostage being taken to replace her."

"It would have been better if you had agreed to their demands and tracked Nott and Malfoy so the auror department could have captured them again when Isabella was free," she replied angrily. Holly Potter was not about to be lectured to like a naughty school girl and made to feel guilty for rescuing her nine year old daughter from the terrible ordeal.

"Well," Beerney coughed; he realised he was outnumbered in his opinions. The Weasleys and Potters had always protected their own and were all notorious for going against the ministry when they wanted to; however he had hoped that James would have seen sense this time and allowed them to follow the correct procedures.

"What did the letter say?" Harry asked in the politest voice he could muster.

"Exactly the same as the first one; but they are not going to allow us anymore time which means we are going to work around the clock to find and rescue one of our own," he replied. "If you want to help us you are welcome to join us at the ministry as we search relevant houses we have collected together; but if you are not prepared to follow our procedures then I suggest you stay here." He directed the statement at Harry before turning to Holly and adding, "For your safety Mrs Potter, we suggest you stay here, or at home and let us do out job."

"Then we all stay here," Harry said in a heavy voice making Beerney turn back to him. The ministry had let Harry down once before and he had hoped that it would never happen again; but he was more determined than ever to take the search into his own hands and stood by his daughter in law's side proudly.

"Very well," the head auror said quietly, "we will contact you when we have found our auror; until then I would appreciate it if you let us do our job." With a haughty huff he walked back over to the fireplace stopping only to nod his head respectfully at Ginny and her mother before he jumped back into the flames and whirled out of sight leaving a room full of gobsmacked people in his wake.

"Can you believe the cheek of…?" Harry said angrily when he had disappeared. "How can he seriously expect us to sit back and wait? How can he have expected you and James to have done the same? He does not understand what it is like to have someone so dear taken from you. And if he thinks I am going to stand back and let him take the longest route to find my son then…then…" he fumed unable to finish what he wanted to say because he was so angry.

"But…what can we do now without his help? There is no owl to track this time and James could be anywhere," Holly sobbed. "How can we find him?"

"I know a way," Hermione coughed from her place at the kitchen table and all eyes turned to look at her as she stared knowingly at Ginny and Ron, the only other two people in the room who might know what she was thinking.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Holly's head shot up and she stared at Hermione who was still looking at her husband and Ginny; they had curious looks on their faces and clearly had not worked out what she had, just yet. "H…how?" Holly asked as Lily, Molly and Harry all turned to stare at Hermione.

"We have his wand," she whispered reaching out for the polished, well kept wooden stick which Isabella had dropped on the kitchen table when she arrived at the Burrow, "we could use it to-"

"No!" Molly Weasley suddenly barked making Holly, Harry and Lily turn to stare at her. "No, you are not doing that again Hermione; you almost died last time," at their mother's words Ginny and Ron realised what was going through her mind and the looks on their faces turned to ones of horror, as did the one on Harry's.

"But Molly," Hermione began calmly, "this might be the only way, or at least the quickest way. We could know in minutes the direction and Harry could-"

"No!" she barked again standing with her hands on her hips, "There must be another way. Harry back me up here; it's too dangerous; she can't do that again. I love James dearly and want him back as much as you do but tell her there has to be another way."

"I…I," Harry stuttered in reply; his initial response had been abject horror and he agreed that it was too dangerous for Hermione; but the more he thought about it the more it made sense. "Molly's right," he said looking at Hermione who was beginning to get angry, "Hermione I love you for saying you would do this but you almost died last time and…and I couldn't stand it if this time..."

"Harry," she interrupted standing up and glaring at him, "I did it once for you and Ginny and James because I love you all and I will do it again for your son and Holly and their children. I came out fine last time; I just needed to rest."

"Hermione no, I won't have it. Ron, if Harry won't stand up to her then you have to; this is your wife!" Molly shrieked.

"Mum," Ron said gently touching her arm, "you know I always want to keep Hermione safe; and no one would be more worried than I about her but…but you know if she has set her mind to something then..." he glanced at his wife who had been looking at him as if daring him to agree with his mother, "then you know she will do it." They smiled at one another as Molly huffed and tried to appeal to Harry again.

"Maybe…maybe I could do it instead," Harry suggested glancing at his wife.

"Then who would go and find James?" Hermione returned, "No Harry, it has to be me. My mind is made up and I am not going to change it; I can perform the spell now and you can take your broom," she finished jumping to her feet and looking at Molly. "I'm going to need a photograph of James," she informed her and with another huff she turned to walk out of the kitchen with an angry glare at Harry and Molly.

Throughout the altercation Holly and Lily had remained quiet and listened; it was clear that Hermione could do something but neither had been able to work out what it was. "Ginny," Holly said quietly in her ear, "what…what is Hermione going to do?"

"It's a spell, a wandlore spell that we once used to locate the auror who went missing with Harry," she began. A frown had crossed her face and Holly could tell this was no ordinary spell. "It can be performed on a wand using the four elements and if it is carried out correctly then it will point in the direction of the wand's owner so they can be found." Holly gasped and saw a worried look erase the frown from her mother in law's face, "It is a very dangerous spell though," she continued, "Hermione was unconscious for over a month when she performed it before."

"Oh Merlin," Holly whispered. "She…she can't do it again then," she heard herself say even though she could see it would be the quickest way to find James. "Ginny you have to stop her," she added.

"Like Ron said Holly, if she has set her mind to it then we cannot stop her; all we can do is nurse her back to health."

"But…"

"She will do it because she loves James and will do anything for him; just as she would for her own children and we have to let her," Ginny sighed as Molly walked back into the room holding a picture of James in her hands. It had been taken on his graduation day from the auror training programme and he was standing tall and proud wearing his new uniform and waving at the camera. Handing it over to Hermione she grabbed hold of the girl and hugged her tight; she may not agree with what she was about to do but she loved her daughter in law dearly and if anything did happen to her she wanted the girl to know just how much.

"Hermione," Holly said quietly a moment later as Ron took her hand and walked past heading for the garden outside, "th-thank you." There were tears prickling her eyes as she remembered just how much this family loved each other and what they would do for one another and Hermione stroked her arm as she smiled softly.

"We will find him Holly and bring him back to you," she whispered and the overwhelmed girl nodded her head and stood up to follow them out of the house.

Apart from Molly, who refused to come out and watch, everyone gathered together a few steps away from Hermione as she chose a spot on the ground and traced a circle to sit in. Holly didn't know what to expect but could tell by the faces of Ginny and Ron, who had experienced this before, that something powerful was going to happen. As the able witch sat cross legged on the floor in the circle she had just drawn Ron stroked her shoulder and whispered something to her before stepping back tentatively almost seeming afraid to leave her. Hermione smiled up at him and he nodded before moving to a safe distance away from the other group never taking his eyes off his wife at all.

With a last glance at them all Hermione lifted up James' wand and placed it on the picture of him in front of her before raising her own wand into the air and conjuring a ball of water, a floating flame and a mini tornado. Holly stared in a amazement as she began to utter a strange string of words which she repeated over and over and then gasped as the three floating elements began to swirl together and were then joined by a wall of earth which came up from the circle Hermione had drawn encasing the adept woman in a cocoon made of earth, wind, water and fire. She could hear the words still being chanted from the middle of the bubble and was in awe of the swirling mass which kept moving faster and faster around her. Suddenly the swirling mass lifted itself into the air and then shot downwards into the wand on the floor and Holly saw the picture disintegrate just before Hermione fell backwards at an awkward angle and then everything grew still.

Running quickly towards her Ron grabbed the lifeless looking woman and lifted her up in his arms while Ginny rushed forwards and took the wand which was suddenly starting to point off in one direction. Harry followed Ron inside looking frantic with worry and Ginny ran in after them dropping the wand on the kitchen table as she headed quickly up the stairs. Lily and Holly went after them and watched the trio disappear upstairs while Molly watched on glassy eyed but holding herself together. Roberto and the triplets, who had been ushered into the living room with Isabella and Daniel, came toddling out just afterwards and to keep herself busy Molly immediately began to fuss around them and sat down by the fire.

Holly took a seat at the table and stared at the animated stick which Ginny had discarde; it seemed to be vibrating and was pointing across the table at the doorway. Tentatively reaching out for it Holly lifted it in her hand and felt a sudden pull in the same direction; it wasn't strong but as she tried to turn it to face the fire it pulled stiffly back to the doorway. Staring at it in awe Holly began to wonder; Ginny had said the wand would point towards its owner; so that meant it was now showing her where James was. She took out her own wand and whispered a point me spell so that her own wand went north, the other wand was almost on the same bearing but pointing ever so slightly to the west and she gasped. Looking around she noticed that Lily had headed straight out of the room to check on the other children and Molly was entertaining the triplets. Harry, Ginny and Ron were busy upstairs tending Hermione but no one was looking for James. She was grateful to his aunt who had performed this dangerous spell but now nothing was being done and she was sat around waiting, again.

If she took the wand she would be able to find him; she could take the invisibility cloak ,which was still in her own cloak pocket, and the deluminator, which was stowed with it; she could have him found and home safely soon if she left now. It took her a fraction of a second to make her decision and she was up and out of the door without Molly even noticing; clinging tightly to both her wand and his she apparated from outside back to her own home where she rushed to the padlocked wooden shed at the bottom of the garden. "Alohomora," she shouted before opening the door and then, from inside, she extracted James' firebolt 560, the latest broomstick, which she had bought him for his last birthday. It was strong and sturdy with a wider seat and a more streamlined handle and though she had only ever ridden it with James she knew she could handle it, especially if it meant she could find him quickly.

Mounting the broom she glanced up at the darkening sky and took off without looking back; she set off in the direction that James' sleek wand was pointing and began to soar over trees and fields heading northerly against a rushing wind. The air whipped her cheeks and she clung on to the long handle of the broom tightly keeping the wand compass held against it; her eyes began to sting from the gushing air but she remained resolute on her heading as the sun set completely and left her in darkness. Holly felt chilled to the bone and could barely see where she was going; the bright lights of towns and cities told her that she was still over land but as time went on they became fewer and further between.

She had been flying for hours and was feeling drowsy but remained in the air reminding herself constantly that she was doing this for James; she had to find him; she needed to find him. Her compass was still pointing in the same direction and she was starting to worry that the spell hadn't worked at all; deciding to take a short break she flew down to the ground and skimmed it as she searched for a suitable place to land finally finding an open patch of grass. She took the opportunity to relieve herself and then jumped back onto the broom; before setting back off she lit her wand tip and held it out so she could try and get a sense of her surroundings. The grassland she had landed in was made up of shrubs and heathery plants which gave her the impression that she had crossed over into Scotland. The amount of time she had spent flying could only confirm that she had flown that far and she pointed her wand at her watch so she could check just how long she had been up there; it was almost half past five.

Holly could scarcely believe that only twenty four hours ago she had been at home with her children and they had all been safe, and so had James. She bit her lip as she remembered that he would not have been with her because of what had happened between them and she had to control herself before she burst into tears. The day had seemed so long and she felt as if a whole week had passed since she had discovered that Isabella was missing; the whole day had been so terrifying and it was not over yet. She wondered for a moment about what had happened at the Burrow, whether Hermione was alright and what they would all be thinking now they knew she had taken the wand and gone after James on her own. She was sure they would understand but they would also be frustrated that they couldn't help and worried that she would not be able to handle it on her own; however she was more determined than ever to save her husband and show him that she had been wrong all along. Her thoughts lingered on James' strong and wilful Aunt who had looked pale and lifeless when they had carried her into the house; though Ginny had prepared her for the consequences of the spell Holly had still not expected her to look that bad and she knew that the Burrow would not be a happy place at the moment.

Dispelling the thoughts she kicked off from the ground and ascended high into the air to continue her journey; glancing at James' wand she saw that it was still pointing in the same slightly north west direction and she flew onwards under cover of darkness. She was so cold that her grip on the broom was loose and she had to slow down so as not to fall from it; this frustrated her as she was desperate to get to her final destination but she had no choice and decided to fly a little lower too.

The broom whizzed over a range of flat, sparse highland and as she glanced at the wand she suddenly saw it change direction and point back to where she had come from; gasping loudly she stopped and turned the broom abruptly lowering it to the ground and jumping off. Discarding the broomstick, she held the wand in her hand and felt it tugging again southwards so she followed its pull stepping cautiously over the marshy ground below her feet. As she pressed onwards she lit the tip of her wand and noticed a wall just ahead of her which looked as if it had once been part of a building. The wand was pointing at it but had started to lean downwards a little which confused her and the closer she got to the wall the more it sloped away. At the wall, which was actually a brick built square building that had been demolished some time ago, the wand pointed vertically down to the ground and Holly noticed a small covered hatch crumbling away with rust. There were corroded holes all around it and as Holly drew her wand tip towards one she saw only darkness on the other side; it was an old mine shaft, abandoned years ago, and Holly knew that James was somewhere beneath her feet.

Cautiously opening the rusted trapdoor Holly gazed down into the darkness and made out a corroded ladder leading down into the darkness; dropping both wands into her cloak pocket she lowered herself onto the top rung and slowly began to climb down. It was long and dark but she felt out for every step carefully; some rungs had broken away and she had to drop further down testing each one would support her weight before dropping on to it. The shaft was cold and wide and tracks up and down the sides showed that there had once been a lift which had carried people and their hauls up and down; it had all been taken away now, presumably with the demolished building and Holly knew it had probably been a long time since someone had climbed the ladder. It felt like she had been climbing for almost an hour when she hit solid ground and put both feet together; removing her wand from inside her robes she re-lit the end and peered into the darkness; all she could see was a long dark tunnel and she knew she would have to follow it.

She donned the invisibility cloak before setting off and then removed James' wand to see which direction it was pointing in; it was still vertical and Holly knew there must be more shafts but for now the only way was forward so she set off, hiding below the cloak and gingerly feeling her way along. After walking a few yards the wand turned to point back where she had come from, it still sloped away but she had to find another way down before she would be able to locate her husband. She walked and walked passing through damp and silent passageways; there were wooden and metal props holding up the ceilings above her and occasionally she passed some of the old mine workings where rusted broken tools had been left behind. It turned around corners and then began to slope downwards after a while and all the time she kept looking at the wand which changed direction with every turn she made. Eventually the compass evened itself out and she knew she was on the right level but had to find a way to wherever he was; it was pointing at a tunnel wall and she had no way to get through it without following the tunnels around.

On the lower level it was like a labyrinth with tunnels leading off in all directions and Holly had to watch the wand closely as it guided her until eventually she was following one passage which seemed to be going in the right direction. Trying to hurry made her stumble on the uneven floor but she was feeling so frustrated at being so close and yet so far. Her body ached with tiredness and she had been wandering around the mine for at least another hour when she saw a feint light ahead of her. Pausing to think for a moment she extinguished her wand and then began to follow the source of light until she reached an open cavern which had a higher ceiling. It was deserted but had tunnels leading off it in three other directions. All along the opposite wall Holly could see what looked like stables with rotting wooden doors and as she looked down at James' wand she saw it pointing towards the middle of five doors.

Checking once more to make sure nobody was around she crept into the dimly lit cavern and straight to the middle door; her heart was pounding in her chest as she slowly opened it and stopped when it made a loud creaking sound. Terrified of being heard she stopped and cast a quick muffliato spell at the entrance to the other tunnels and then pulled on the door again. When it was fully open she peered inside and held her wand up to clear the darkness; then she gasped at what she saw, "Oh my God James," she cried, "what have they done to you?"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"Ho-lly?" James croaked as he slowly lifted his head and winced at the tiny light she still held in her hand, "What…are…you…doing…here?" For a few seconds she stared at him aghast without answering the question. His arms were pulled apart and fastened to the ceiling with thick rusted chains; he seemed to be hanging his body as he was too weak to stand and his feet trailed on the floor. There were a multitude of open red gashes on his torso which was bare and blood ran freely from many of them especially an angry looking one above his left hip. Discarding the invisibility cloak on the floor Holly dashed forwards and frantically tried to loosen the shackles on his wrists; she was holding back tears as she saw how much pain he was in and touched his body tentatively, afraid to cause any more. "What are you doing here?" he asked again in barely a whisper.

"I came for you," she replied as she finally released one of the chains and slowly let his arm fall to his side; she was holding up his body as it was too much effort for him and it took a few minutes longer for her to free the other arm.

"You shouldn't have come," he went on, "it's dangerous. I told you to get Isabella out."

"James I couldn't leave you," she cried, "I couldn't."

"Thank you," he replied as his other arm was finally released; then he fell to the floor, laid out straight and cried out a little as his cuts scraped on the wood beneath them.

"I need to do something about that," Holly said to him reaching out to touch the deep wound on his side which was oozing blood and making him weaker. "I need to stop it bleeding," she went on. Flinging her cloak over her shoulder, she set to work with her wand trying to staunch some of the blood. However, she had barely even started when a slight shadow fell over them as something, or someone, blocked the limited light that was coming in from outside the stable.

"Holly," James called as a warning; but it was too late. The person who had cast the shadow took just one step forward and grabbed hold of Holly, dragging her to her feet and holding her against his body.

"And somebody comes at last," the man growled angrily. "I think we had better pre-empt what happened last time and get rid of this," he said grabbing the still lit wand out of her hand. "And I'd better take these too," he added as he reached into the inside pocket of her robes and extracted James' wand and the deluminator. "You won't get away so easily this time! Ah," he continued as he held James' wand up in one hand and felt it tug in his direction, "so this is how you found us this time, a good old wand tracker spell. Still it got you here but I doubt anyone else knows where you are, do they?" he cackled in her ear as he pulled her right against his body and slid his hand down her side. "Came up here all alone, trying to play the hero; well you might just have opened up a whole new channel for us so perhaps I ought to say thank you!" He laughed loudly again as Holly tried to squirm against him. "Tasty little wench you got here Potter," he spat as he held her fast to stop her wriggles and then let his hand crawl back up her body heading for her ample busom, "might be nice to have a go while we're waiting down here for your Ministry lot!"

"Get...away from…her," James tried to shout but in his weakened state it sounded feeble and the man just laughed raucously and touched Holly's breast. She bit back the gasp she wanted to make as she knew James at least would not be able to see from his position and Holly didn't want to give him a reason to try and get up to fight.

"Maybe later," he cackled shoving her away from him and across the room with such force that she fell a few feet away from James and scraped her arms on the rough floor. "I got to let my master know who we got down here with the auror. Now that there's a civilian hostage they might be more inclined to bargain with us!" Then with a resounding slam he closed the door to the tiny stall and both James and Holly heard a rusty lock slide over on the outside.

There was a fraction of light filtering under the wooden door but it took Holly's eyes a while to get used to it and find her way back to James who was still in the same position on the floor. "Holly," he croaked again, "you shouldn't have come; this is not the place for you."

"Neither is it the place for you," she sobbed as she followed his voice and finally touched him. "I came for you James because I love you and I couldn't just leave you and wait for the Ministry to do nothing. Now, I still need to do something about your side. What did they do to you?" she asked again.

"They apparated me straight out of that house to here," he began as she started to rip material from the hem of her cloak so she could stuff it against the wound before wrapping some other pieces around his body to hold them in place. "They fastened me up there and then…sectumsempra," he added quietly and she gasped. "A…a few times before they used crucio," he finished remembering the intense pain of the awful curse. "They were angry that you and Isabella had got away," he continued, "because they knew the ministry would not bow to their demands for me, an auror," he admitted. "So they took it out on me while they thought about their next move."

"Oh James," she wept when she had finally finished bandaging him up; without a wand she could do nothing more and it was all she knew how to do without magic. In the darkness she tried to at least dab some of the other wounds and though he bit back every gasp she knew he was hurting considerably. Eventually she stopped and moved to sit beside him on the floor; it was cold and very damp and Holly could feel it getting into her bones. As she sat silently beside him she felt James start to shiver "You're cold," she whispered feeling suddenly afraid for him. It was cold and damp where they were but she knew the shivering could also be due to his loss of blood; desperate to keep him as warm as possible she opened the shirt she was wearing and pulled his bare torso against her own wrapping her arms around his back and flinging her cloak over them both.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a trembling voice; he still could not stop shivering as he spoke.

"I'm sharing my body heat with you," she replied as she leaned her head onto his shoulder. "I need to keep you warm," she went on gently rubbing his arms and breathing on his neck heavily. The feel of her was light and made James forget everything they had been through for a while as he allowed himself to think about his wife; he was weak and needed comfort and he knew she must still have felt something for him to have come to try and save him.

"How…did…you find…me?" he stuttered, "I heard him say something about a wand tracker spell."

"Your Aunt Hermione did it, at the Burrow. She performed this really dangerous spell which she did once before when they were looking for your Dad; it…it almost killed her before and…" she paused, not sure whether she should add to his pain but she decided to tell the truth, "it wiped her out."

"What…what do you mean?"

"When she had finished the spell she was knocked unconscious and…and…I don't know what happened to her." She heard James gasp and continued hurriedly, "Everyone rushed her upstairs and your Mum went to take care of her but…but I couldn't stand to wait; I had a way to get to you and…and…I took the wand. I apparated back to the house and got your firebolt which I used to follow your wand; it was stupid of me I know, I realise now that I should have waited for your father, let him come too then there would have been at least two of us and…and…I'm so stupid."

"Holly, you are not stupid; you are brave and kind and…thank you," he said quietly.

"For getting us both trapped in here? How is this going to help?" she replied sounding angry at herself, "I've just made things worse; Beerney still won't give them what they want, we already know that; and the aurors will never find us here!" she cursed.

"We'll find a way out Holly, I promise. How…how was Isabella?" he asked trying to control his voice as he thought about his lovely daughter.

"Feeling guilty, she's blaming herself because you were caught and-"

"Then we have to get out," he interrupted resolutely, "I won't have her feeling guilty because of me Holly, I won't."

"But what can we do?" she asked.

"We need to feel around the room to see if there is anything we could use to knock out the oaf when he comes back."

"What if he doesn't come back?" she gasped.

"He will; they don't know that Beerney isn't going to give in; they knew he wouldn't do it for me but now they have you they'll want to keep you…alive at least. He'll come with water and food, eventually. Help me up and let's see if we can find anything."

"No," Holly said vehemently, "you need to rest, wrap yourself up in this," she continued sliding out of the cloak and rebuttoning her shirt, "you need to stay warm and strong James; you need to be well for your children." He did as she commanded and sat in the middle of the room listening as she moved around it feeling her way along the floor and the walls searching desperately for anything she might be able to use. She stumbled over the uneven floor and cried out when she twisted on her bad ankle again but she ignored the pain and carried on touching the wooden walls of the stall.

"Anything?" James asked hopefully after she had been searching for a while.

"No," she admitted quietly, "the place is completely empty."

"Keep looking," he encouraged knowing they could not give up hope yet. He listened as she continued to move around and then held his breath when he heard her stumble again on something and curse under her breath. "Are you alright?" he asked concernedly.

"Yes," she replied, "I just caught my foot on something."

"What is it?" he asked.

"I don't know," she answered sitting on the damp floor and reaching out to feel whatever it was she had stubbed her toe on. "It feels like something metal," she continued and then she gasped.

"What?" James called holding his breath again.

"It's a horseshoe," she replied. "A metal horseshoe," she went on sounding excited, "and a heavy one!"

"Perfect," he said to her as she began to feel her way back to where he sat in the middle of the room.

"What do I do with it?" she asked.

"I'll use it to-"

"No James, you are too weak. You have to let me," she murmured when she reached him.

"When he comes in," he began with a sigh, feeling completely useless, as she sat by his side again and slid her arms around his body carefully, "you need to try and get him at the top of his neck, behind his head. Hit him hard Holly and he'll be knocked unconscious."

"What if it doesn't work?" she asked in a slightly panicky voice, deciding to do something and actually doing it were two different things and she knew it could all go disastrously wrong if she didn't hit the right spot. "What if I don't hit him in the right place or…or he sees what I'm going to do; what if I can't do it right?"

"Holly," he whispered gently leaning back to try and look at her, "you'll do it; I believe in you."

For hours they sat on the damp floor in the dark room feeling the cold seep into their very bones; they didn't talk but Holly continued to hold her husband against her body and eventually he stopped shivering. They had not spoken for a while and Holly had simply listened to his breathing, making sure it was staying regular. "Holly," James whispered after a while, "I feel sleepy." Her arms were still around his body and they were hunched over one another but at his words she moved back and lifted his head which drooped as soon as she moved away.

"James, you have to stay awake," she replied fretfully; she was afraid of what would happen if he fell asleep because she knew he was still bleeding from the wound she had bandaged earlier. His breathing had become shallower as the day had gone on and she was deathly afraid that he might not wake up. "You have to try James, please," she begged.

"I'm so cold and so tired," he said as she thrust him against her body again and rubbed his arms vigorously; she heard him gasp as she caught his wounds but knew at least that pain might keep him awake so she continued against his protests.

"James please, promise me you'll stay awake, promise me," she shouted as she heard his breathing slow even more.

"I…don't know if…I can," he muttered.

"You have to try James, for me; please, you have to try."

"Hmmm," he murmured drowsily.

"Talk to me James; tell me about Isabella or Daniel; tell me a story, something we did…together."

"I…I," he stuttered but she could feel his body slipping down in hers as he succumbed to the sleep.

"James," she shrieked and he jumped up, "James, talk to me please I-" She stopped suddenly as she heard a noise from outside. There were footsteps echoing from the other side of the door and with a gasp she felt around for the horseshoe she had placed close by her side and reluctantly left James in the middle of the floor as she heard the bolt on the door being dragged back. It was obviously heavy and took the jailer a few seconds to fiddle with which gave her time to hide behind it with her weapon. The door slowly started to creak open and a feint light filtered into the room; holding her breath Holly watched as the burly man lumbered into the room and stopped as he saw just James laid sleeping on the floor. Pulling his wand from his robes he held it aloft and was about to turn around and search for her when she brought the heavy metal object down on the back of his neck right where James had told her to.

There was a sickening cracking sound as it made contact with its target and with a dull, "dugh," sound the man slumped forwards onto the floor landing only inches from James with a thud. Holly exhaled and stared at him laying completely still on the floor; she was afraid to move in case it hadn't worked and he was only pretending but knew she had to get James out and soon. With incremental steps she moved towards the heavy set man laid face down on the floor; upon impact with the floor his wand had flown from his hand and she reached out for it tentatively not allowing herself to breathe properly until she had it in her hand.

"Incarcerous," she called pointing the wand at its owner. A few ropes flew from the end and wrapped themselves around the man on the floor. It was not the most effective spell as it wasn't her wand but it would keep him tied up long enough for them to get away. "James," she cried dropping to the floor by his side and shaking him forcefully, "James wake up; you have to wake up; we need to get out of here."

"Hmm," he moaned as his eyes briefly opened and then closed again.

"James, please," Holly wept as she shook him again, "wake up." With another energetic shake she managed to rouse him from sleep and his eyes blinked open. "We have to get out of here James; I have his wand," she explained holding it up and nodding at the unconscious heap near his feet. "Can you get up?"

"I don't…know," he croaked sounding weaker than he had all day and she yanked on his arm desperate to get him moving. It took a while but she managed to get him to his feet and propped him up using herself to take his weight; he felt floppy and she was afraid that now they had a chance to go they would not be able to use it. It took a few minutes for them to reach the door and feeling worried but exasperated she stopped and said, "Do you think we could apparate?"

"Maybe," James croaked, "they…have…our wands so…no need for protections."

"Will I be able to without my own wand?" she asked knowing she would need to side along apparate James without causing any splinching.

"Yes," he uttered. "But not far; not…with me," he gasped, "harder with two…and not your wand. Any…idea where… we are?"

"Just hold onto me," she said as a place came into her mind and she held him tight as she turned on the spot and tried to apparate out of the mine.

James had been right; they had not put anti-apparition wards over the mine and a few seconds later they landed on top of a familiar wind swept rocky outcrop near the sea. James fell to the floor as soon as they landed and she gasped when he slid from her arms; glancing at his face she could see he was still conscious but very weak. He was blinking slowly and his eyes looked a little unfocused so she fell to her knees at his side and attempted to treat the wound on his side which she had been unable to treat before. The strips of cloth from the hem of her robes were completely soaked in blood now and as she painstakingly removed them she saw that it was still gushing. She used the wand in her hand to try and seal the gash but as it was unfamiliar to her she was unable to complete it properly; parts of it sealed but it was still bleeding when she had finished and she didn't know what to do next.

"James," she shouted as she saw his eyes flutter again, "can we move again?"

"I can't," he said shaking his head very slowly as she moved to the top of his body and put his head into her lap and desperately looked around hoping she could find a way of getting help. Using the little energy he had left James glanced at their surroundings and a half smile formed on his lips as he recognised the place where they had got married and the place they had had their first proper date. "Why…here?" he asked trying to smile up at her; there were tears in her eyes as she glanced back down and she was frantically trying to decide what to do.

"First place I thought of," she whispered smiling back at him.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"Listen James do you think we can move anywhere else? Anywhere nearer to home?" Holly asked lifting up his head and holding it off the rocks.

"N…not without…de…lu…min..a…tor," he croaked breathlessly.

"I should go and get help; I'll get your father; he can apparate you properly to-" she went on frantically starting to get up but he interrupted her and with a weak hand grabbed her arm.

"No…can't, Ho…lly…stay with me," he whispered and she looked down on him with terrified eyes.

"James, I have to get help," she pleaded.

"No…Holly," he whispered with great effort, "I…I need to say something…I need…to-"

"Save your strength James," Holly started to whimper holding back the tears which were threatening to fall from her eyes he was talking as if it was the end and she refused to think like that.

"No…" he said back as vehemently as he could manage, "I need…I need to…to say…I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" she gulped forcing back the drops filling her eyelids.

"For not giving up sooner…for not seeing how…how…important you…you and…and the children were," he breathed. "I should have…stopped…long…time…ago."

"James, it doesn't matter," Holly sobbed, "not now, not anymore; we just need to get you home and get you healed."

"Too…too late," he murmured and she shook her head. "Thank you Holly…for…for…everything," he finished as his eyes slowly closed again.

"James," she said when he did not open them again and she shook him a little expecting them to spring back straight away but they didn't. "James," she repeated loudly shaking his whole body as she had done in the mine, "James wake up; you have to stay awake.

"James," she screamed again when he still did not open them; her heart had plummeted and she was suddenly deathly afraid, "please James, please wake up." The tears she had kept at bay started to fall uncontrollably down her face as she moved from his head and tried to shake his body; it was limp and she could not get him to open his eyes at all. Trying unsuccessfully for a another few minutes she wept and wept repeating his name over and over until eventually she fell onto his chest. "James please wake up; you have to stay with me; the children need you…" she sobbed before adding in a louder voice, "…I need you," as she gave in to the body wracking sobs that she could not contain anymore.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

PLEEEEEEASE REVIEW. She cried over his weakened body for a few minutes holding his hand in hers and whispering over and over again, "James please wake up; I need you…I need you." She didn't know what to do; he was breathing shallowly and she knew apparating him with an unfamiliar wand could seriously harm him, possibly kill him, in the state he was in. His face was completely white due to the amount of blood he had lost and she knew he was close to death; would she have time to get any help from anyone? She had to do something but the tracker spell on James' wand would still be working and if she left then they might come and find him; they also had the invisibility cloak so she couldn't even hide him while she made it back to the Burrow.

She glanced around frantically for anything that might be able to help but she was surrounded by rocks, trees and grasses, nothing at all of any use and she was almost ready to give up. Staring down at her husband, who she had told only days ago that she didn't need anymore, she thought about her life without him; a life that was stretching out in front of her and she couldn't bare it. If James died now a part of her would die too and she wept more prickling tears as she convinced herself that it was going to happen; she could feel all her hope trickling away and she allowed it to happen. As her body fell back over his and she allowed more sobs to escape she suddenly felt James' hand move in hers and she gasped loudly; he was still there; there was still time; all she had to do was get Harry or Ginny and…and…

Standing up resolutely she wiped her eyes and looked down at the wand in her other hand; concentrating hard, she pointed it at James and whispered a concealment spell she remembered from her schooldays and was amazed when his body suddenly shimmered out of sight. It was a short charm and would hide him for only minutes but it might be enough time for her to get to the Burrow and back and she found herself praying that it would last. The determined woman took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she apparated away from the highland thinking hard about the Burrow; seconds later she landed in the huge cluttered kitchen and heard shrieks and cries from different ends of the room.

"Holly!"

"Merlin!"

"Where's James?"

She took in the room quickly and saw dozens of sets of eyes staring at her; most of Ginny's brothers and their wives were there along with Salamander and James' brothers; and sat by the side of the fire looking beside themselves with worry were Harry and Ginny. "Holly," the latter shrieked standing up and walking over to where she had just appeared; the girl looked dishevelled and her mother in law saw she had been crying, "why did you go? What happened? Where's James?"

"No time to explain," she breathed. "Harry," she continued turning her attention to the man now standing behind his wife, "I need you…you have to get James to St Mungos. I can't do it; they took my wand," she explained holding up the rather thin and brittle looking one she had stolen. "Where we got married; now," she screamed not taking in any of the other people as she watched Harry turn on the spot and disappear. She followed suit without offering any other answers and found herself back on the windswept outcrop where Harry was frantically searching for his son. As another pop indicated that a second person had joined them Holly pointed her wand at the place where she had left James and released her breath when his limp and weakened form came into view.

"James," whispered the voice of the newcomer who shot forwards in his direction as Harry kneeled down to lift him up.

"It's sectumsempra," Holly told him before turning to look at Ginny, "is he…still..?" she asked looking back."

"He's breathing, just," Harry said as he prepared to apparate away to the hospital. "I'll see you there," he said to both trembling and terrified women and they nodded their heads in unison as he disappeared from view.

The serene blue waiting room at the hospital did nothing to calm anyone, least of all Holly, who was still blaming herself for not watching Isabella, for not waiting for Harry and for pushing away the man in the room nearby who was fighting for his life. What had even possessed her? Now she could not for one moment understand why she had said those things to James and all she wanted was to be able to take them all back. The healers had worked on him for an hour sealing up the wounds, bathing and dressing them and feeding him blood replenishing potions through a tube pushed down his neck. She and his parents had been made to wait in the supposedly relaxing room where the auxiliary healer came every fifteen minutes to update them on his status.

She had explained everything to Harry and Ginny over the hour not looking either of them in the eyes as she tried to hide her guilt; if she had just been patient and waited for Harry then James might have been safe; right now they did not know if he was going to live or die. Back at the Burrow Ron was watching over his wife who was still unconscious but apparently fairing better than she had the last time she had performed the wand tracker spell. Luna was tending to her needs so Ginny could be at St Mungos and Holly was feeling as guilty about James' aunt as she was about James. They had sat in silence for the last twenty minutes, since the auxiliary had come to say they were having trouble with the tube which would give James the blood replenishing potion, and Holly had spent the entire time pacing up and down while the other two stared out of the window holding hands.

Holly envied them the comfort they found in one another; the person who usually gave her that comfort was the one fighting for his life and she longed for his touch to help her through. He had always been there for her; at the birth of all their children, holding her hand and willing her through it; when she had almost lost Isabella on their wedding day, getting her to safety and waiting until she was well. It stabbed at her heart to think she had pushed that away; to think that she has told James she didn't need that support when she knew wholeheartedly that she did. He had been there again for her when Isabella was taken; there to help find her, but also there to comfort Holly, putting her above his own grief, as always. Why had she let him take that away? His absence had been difficult and she had made herself go on without him but she knew she was wrong now, the thought of losing him was unbearable for herself as well as the children and Holly knew that if she didn't get a chance to take it all back it would haunt her for the rest of her life.

"Mrs Potter," a voice said and all three heads turned to look at the matron healer who had entered the room this time.

"What's…what's going on?" she asked in a quiet terrified voice.

"We have managed to get enough potion down Mr Potter's throat to make him more stable and his wounds are completely sealed now. We have cleaned them but will need to check for infection," she continued as Ginny nodded her head knowingly. "All we can do now…is wait," she finished solemnly. "Your husband has suffered serious injuries Mrs Potter, and will need time to recover; we are hopeful about his prognosis but we cannot rule out anything yet I'm afraid." Holly nodded at the woman smiling sympathetically in front of her and then turned to Ginny and Harry.

"Can we see him?" Ginny asked.

"Yes," she replied, "but not too many at once!" She smiled knowing the Weasley and Potter families well; as the hour had passed other members of the clan had turned up to see what was happening and were sat out in the hallways waiting patiently.

"Holly?" Ginny asked breaking the silence which had stretched between them for so long, "Do you want us to wait or come with you?"

"Wh-what?" she asked in shock.

"Do you want to see James on your own first?"

"I…I…yes," she admitted knowing she couldn't bear to be in his room with them at the same time while James' life still hung in the balance, "but you…you go first."

"No, Holly," Harry answered stepping forward. "He is your husband, no matter what has happened recently," he added, a comment which stabbed at her heart like a knife but she knew he had not meant it to. "We will wait here for a while; come back when you are ready."

"Th-thank you," she replied as she took tentative steps towards the door where the matron was still stood with her hand on the doorhandle. Ginny and Harry smiled at her as she walked out of the room and followed behind the healer dressed in royal blue robes.

She paused by the door to James' room and turned to look at Holly, "Mrs Potter your husband is still very pale at the moment and his breathing is being monitored by a sensor which will emit a high pitched noise should it change. He also has a tube in his throat which we need to leave until he is awake so we can feed him the blood replenishing potion. I am only telling you this so you are not too alarmed when you see him," she added with a smile and Holly tried to return it but ended up grimacing instead. "You can go in," she added opening the door for the bereft looking girl who slowly entered the room and then gasped.

James was almost as white as the Hogwart's ghosts; he looked frail and weak and Holly's heart ached for him; he had always been so strong and fit, even when injured before, and Holly could hardly stand to look at him in this way. He suddenly looked older and his jet black hair only highlighted just how pale his face was due to the serious loss of blood. The sensor on the bedside cabinet was whirring round like a sneakoscope and Holly imagined that it worked in much the same way; but apart from that there were no other noises in the room; even his shallow breathing could not be heard as it was so weak. The tube protruding from his mouth looked ghastly; there was a cap on the end of it which was closed but it looked so unnatural sticking out of his mouth and Holly wanted to rip it out there and then.

It was a few minutes before she approached the bed and reached out tentatively for his feeble, white hand which was cold. She held it in her own and looked down on the father of her children holding back yet more sobs which were trying to fight their way out of her body. "James," she whispered as she sat down in a chair by his bedside, "I'm so sorry."

She sat for fifteen minutes just staring at him and rubbing his hand trying to make it warmer; the sensor whirred away to itself in a repetitive pattern and Holly just listened knowing that as long as it whirred he was still breathing regularly, if a little weak. "I don't know if you can hear me James," she said eventually in a mouse like voice, "but I need to say this; I have to tell you that…that I made a mistake." She sighed and closed her eyes before continuing, "I was stupid James, so stupid and I don't even know why I pushed you away. I was wrong when I said I didn't need you, I do need you and the children need you too. And…and you have to stay with us; you have to come back to us or at least back to them if you can't forgive me. Please James," she begged, "please come back to us. I can't live my life without you in it," she sobbed dropping her head onto his chest and squeezing his hand. "I-" But she was cut short as a high pitched alarm sound suddenly began and her head shot up and turned in the direction of the sensor on his bedside. A silver ball on the top was spinning madly around while the shrill piercing noise screeched out of a hole which had appeared in the top; Holly jumped to her feet and looked down at James' chest which had suddenly stopped moving. "James," she screamed as the door burst open and a team of healers came rushing in, "James!"

The auxiliary healer grabbed hold of Holly and tried to move her out of the way but she fought against him pushing herself against his bed until he finally shouted at her and said, "Mrs Potter, you must give us space to work on your husband, please. If you won't leave the room then at least stand out of the way." With an almighty push he moved her back against the wall where she stood staring in abject horror at the lifeless form of her husband who was being stripped of his bedclothes by a healer in pale blue robes.

"He's not breathing," the matron healer said as she placed her head against his chest to listen for his heart.

"There's no pulse," said another one who had her fingers against his neck. "Start CPR," she screamed as the matron healer lifted her hands and placed them over his chest.

Holly stood back and watched; to her everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as the matron started to pound on James' chest with her hands and another healer blew into his mouth intermittently. All noise seemed to drain away from her and become clouded as she stared ahead, tears falling furiously down her face. She screamed his name over and over again but it seemed muffled in her head as she just focused on her husband and when nothing seemed to be changing she ran forwards, pushing the auxiliary out of the way, and grabbed hold of James' hand, "Please James," she sobbed as a pair of strong arms grabbed her from behind, "don't leave us…don't leave me."

"There's still no pulse," the healer who had been breathing into his mouth called out. "Start compressions again," she added.

"Get her out of here," the matron healer screamed at the auxiliary as Holly tried again to grab hold of her wilting husband.

"No," Holly shouted back, "No…I have to be here; I have to be with him if…if…" she could barely contemplate the idea never mind say the actual words but as the tears continued to fall she felt her body weaken and the auxiliary healer managed to pull her away from the bedside and in the direction of the door.

"Mrs Potter," he said in a calm but firm voice, "you have to let us work on your husband; he is in good hands and the healers will do everything they can but you have to wait outside or you could get in their way."

"But…but…" she sobbed; however he was stronger than her now and while the sobs wracked her body the man managed to pull her from the room into the hallway where streams of Weasley's and Potters were stood whitefaced and anxious staring at the doorway she had come out of.

"What's going on?" one angry voice demanded but Holly did not see who it was as she sagged against the wall gasping for breath and crying hysterically. An arm came out to her, a comforting arm which enfolded her swiftly as she sank down to the floor; her legs could not hold her up anymore as she contemplated a life without James. As her head was pulled against the chest of her comforter she screamed out her husband's name and then cried into it with heartwrenching sobs which were echoed along the hall by the various members of the clan who had gathered together.

She could feel the body of the person holding her shaking up and down and as she gradually allowed her sobs to recede a little she realised that she was not alone in her grief. Lifting her head up she peered into the face of her father in law who was now on the floor with her rocking her slowly and listening to the auxiliary who was trying to explain what had happened. "Mr Potter has gone into cardiac arrest," he began and everyone in the hallway gasped. "The healers are performing CPR compressions on him and he is in good hands. The matron will come and see you all as soon as she can; until then you must wait out here and let them do their job," he added before turning back to the door and disappearing inside again.

"Holly," Harry said soothingly in a strong voice which she knew he was putting on, "what happened?"

"I…don't…know," she gulped between the sobs which she was attempting to control. "He…he was breathing shallowly but then…I was talking to him; I was asking him to…to," she looked up at her father in law with wide eyes, "to forgive me and to come back to us; but…suddenly the sensor on his bed started screaming and he…he'd stopped…stopped breathing," she cried as fresh tears fell down her face. "Harry what if…what if he…" she stared at him with wild eyes, "and I don't ever get to say that I'm sorry; that I didn't mean any of it? That I love him and…and I need him?"

"You will Holly, you will tell him," he said adamantly as he glanced at his wife who was being comforted by Charlie Weasley. She was staring down at her husband and daughter in law as tears fell silently down her face and remembering the day she had received news that Harry was missing and presumed dead. Ginny Potter had hoped that a day like that would never come again, at least not until they were old and grey, but now it felt like it had; and though it had felt like the worst moment of her life, hearing the news that her son might be about to die in the next room felt even worse. Harry watched her sympathetically knowing that she needed comfort from him too but she shook her head to say that Holly needed it more, she remembered.

"But if I can't I'll never…never forgive myself; I need to tell him; he has to know how much I love him," Holly sobbed again.

"Holly, he knows," Harry said in his strong voice. "Trust me, he knows and he understands Holly; if…if the worst happens then-" but he was cut short by the gasp which ran down the hallway. Staring up at their faces he saw that they all looked above his head and he and Holly turned their own heads to the doorway behind them where they saw the matron healer in her royal blue robes looking back at them all with a grave face.

"James," Holly sobbed before the healer opened her mouth to speak.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"Mrs Potter," the matron said stepping towards her as everyone else crowded around desperate to hear what was going on; Holly rose quickly to her feet but felt as if her legs would not hold her and Harry jumped to her side steadying her with a supporting hand. "We have managed to get your husband's heart beating again and he is breathing also; but it is still shallow and his heartbeat is weak." A soft groan escaped from Holly's mouth and she sagged with relief against her father in law who held her shoulders for a second and then passed her to Charlie so he could hug his own wife and sob with relief. "I am leaving a healer in there for the time being until he is stronger but for now he is alive and stable."

"Th-thank you," she replied stepping out of Charlie's embrace in the direction of the door, "can we go back in?"

"Yes Mrs Potter; but…" she paused, "if anything like that happens again I must insist that you leave the room immediately." Holly looked away sheepishly, "I know it was distressing and I understand why you wanted to be there but you have to let us do our job; your interruptions cost us valuable seconds and I have to think of my patients and not their spouses."

She nodded her head at the matron and then turned to look at Harry and Ginny who were waiting behind her, "Do you want to go first?" she asked them warily and Harry took a step towards her.

"We'll go in together," he replied putting one arm around her while keeping his wife in the other.

"N-no," Holly whispered shrugging his arm away, "you…you go on; I'll…I'll wait out…out here."

"Are you sure?" Ginny asked concernedly.

"Aha," she answered turning away from her parents in law and facing the other Weasley's and Potters all staring at the doorway behind it desperate to see the member of their family still fighting for his life. She looked down at the ground as the door closed behind them but eventually had to lift her head and look into the faces of all the people who knew what she had done to James only a week before; as they gazed back at her she felt the guilt cut her heart once more.

This was the first time she had seen any of them, other than Lily, Molly and Vernon since before James had moved out of their marital home; and even when she had seen them it had been during the panic about Isabella, and then James, so she had not even cared then what they thought of her. However now that she was here in front of them all and James was so close to death she felt every scrutinising glare attacking her for what she had done to him in his last week and it took all her strength to hold herself up and venture to find a seat. Her best friend, and James' cousin, Rose, was on a chair further down the corridor and as she caught Holly's attention she stood up with a smile on her face and walked towards her. "Let's go in here," she said softly as she took her arm and guided the distraught girl back into the waiting room where she felt like she had already spent an eternity that day.

Rose closed the door behind her husband, Salamander, who had also entered the room; then she took a seat beside her distressed friend. Taking Holly's hand in her own she began to rub it as she took deep breaths and forced herself to believe that James was going to be alright; he had to be.

"Where are the children?" she gasped suddenly realising that all the family seemed to be gathered in the hall outside and she had left her children with Molly and Lily who she had already made eye contact with before entering the waiting room.

"Roxanne, Lucy and Molly are looking after them all at the Burrow," Rose explained mentioning the youngest of her generation of Weasleys who were all now out of Hogwarts, "Remus is there too," (the eldest of the younger generation and about to start school in September.) "They'll probably be driving them all mad now," she chuckled, "Roberto is there and we dropped Maria and Stephanie off before we flooed over here too," she finished referring to her own two children. Maria was the same age as Daniel and Stephanie four years younger and Holly allowed herself a half smile as she thought about the three young girls left to care for her brood of five, Rose's two and Roberto even with Remus' help; though she imagined that he was probably being more of a hindrance at eleven years old. She assumed Teddy and Victoire's youngest, Angeline, would be there too and knew she would be off in a corner with Isabella telling secrets and comforting the girl who would be blaming herself for all of this.

"What…what do they know?" she asked.

"That you found James and brought him home but he had to go to hospital to check out some injuries; we didn't mention how serious they were but Isabella still looked worried when I left."

"She will be; she thinks that it is all her fault," Holly sighed allowing herself to stop worrying about James for a moment as she thought about her eldest child.

"She'll forget about it when James is back at ho-" she paused and looked at her friend. "-Is well again," she finished looking away.

"Everyone hates me, don't they?" Holly asked in a timid voice. "I don't blame them; I did a terrible thing to James and if anything happens to him now I will never forgive myself." Rose gasped at her words and held up Holly's hand, "I was so stupid Rose; I didn't mean it; I don't even know now why I thought I did. I can't live without James and I don't want to," she sobbed and her friend began to rub her back as she leaned into her shoulder.

"They don't hate you Holly; nobody hates you and when this is all over you can tell James how you feel and none of it will matter anymore," she crooned.

"But what if he won't take me back?" she asked sitting up and looking imploringly at her husband's best friend and Rose's husband. "I hurt him so much; what if he…he doesn't want me anymore? What if it's too late?"

"Holly," Salamander said coming to sit beside his wife, "James loves you and he will take you back; he will do anything for you, anything; and if you tell him how you feel he will take you back unconditionally."

"I'm just scared that it might be too late; and if…if something happens to him then…then it will be."

Rose opened her mouth to speak but at that moment the door opened and Lily popped her head around it. "Mum and Dad say you can go in if you want; they'll wait out here for a bit with us and you can be alone," she whispered with a smile.

"It's okay, I'll…I'll wait in here for a while; you go in…and Albus and Vernon; let everyone see him. I'll…I…I can wait."

"But Holly-" Rose began sensing that she was avoiding something but she was cut short by her friend.

"Rose it's fine; let the rest of the family see him," she said in a sharp tone and Rose let the matter drop.

Holly avoided going to see James for another hour as the tribe took it in turns to sit by his bedside and talk to him; the healer kept watch and came to report that his breathing was getting slightly stronger so the matron had taken her off close watch. When the matron had been to tell them all that he seemed to be steadily improving the family started to leave in dribs and drabs leaving just Holly, Rose and Salamander with James' parents. After seeing Lily and Albus off Ginny finally entered the waiting room where Holly was staring out of the window, still worrying about James but feeling reluctant to go and see him.

"Holly," Ginny whispered as she entered, "why don't you go and see James?"

"I'll…I'll wait, thanks."

"Why are you avoiding him?" she asked softly. "The matron didn't mean you had to stay out of the room altogether; she just needed you out while they worked on him. He looks and sounds much stronger now; I think he's going to make it," she finished smiling softly at the woman who turned to look at her with deep sorrowful eyes.

"But what if it happens again, when I'm in there? What if he stops breathing and…and… I was leaning over him; I was holding him and he just stopped…"

"Holly, he didn't stop breathing because you were there; he stopped breathing because he was gravely injured but he is getting better now; he's fighting back; like the Potters do," she smiled looking at her husband. "Where do you think Isabella got it from when you almost lost her? She didn't give up and neither will James; I promise." Holly stared back at her with watery orbs and tried to nod her head, "Go and see him," Ginny added taking the girl's hands in her own and steering her in the direction of the door, "he needs you."

She opened the door tentatively still afraid to look at him and watch him stop breathing again but with a deep breath she pushed the door wide and entered. She could see immediately that he looked better; his skin was still pale but not as ghostly as it had been before and she could see his chest rising and falling with each breath this time whereas before it had almost remained flat. Creeping slowly she crossed the room and sat in the chair by his side before reaching out carefully to touch his hand and hold it gently in hers; it too looked slightly healthier than it had done before and she hoped it was another sign that Ginny was right, he was fighting back. The bandages on his wounds had been replaced and she could see a few seeping red patches where they had obviously reopened when the matron had repeated compressions on his chest. The bottle of blood replenishing potion on the bedside was almost empty but she could see the effect it had had on him already and Holly found herself believing that maybe he was going to pull through like Ginny had said.

She stroked his hand and closed her eyes allowing her head to loll backwards in the high backed chair; the tiredness and stress of the last two days suddenly hit her and she could barely believe that it was hardly even forty eight hours since her daughter had been taken from the back garden. Moonlight streamed through the window of the hospital room which lit up a dark star filled sky and shone directly on the bed. It was almost ten thirty and now that James seemed to be getting fitter Holly allowed herself to succumb to sleep still holding his hand and stroking it gently as she drifted into a peaceful slumber by his side.

At midnight Ginny and Harry peered around the door and saw their daughter in law curled up and deeply asleep beside her husband where she should be; they smiled at the scene and entered quietly checking that their son was still alive before retreating to the waiting room to try and sleep themselves. He had much more colour in his face and they could hear his regular breathing in the quiet room. A healer popped in to check on him and poured the remainder of the blood replenishing potion down the tube in his throat; she listened to his heart and breathing before filling in the chart on the end of his bed and then leaving the room with a brief smile at his parents. Ginny had to check the chart herself and saw that everything seemed to be returning to normal so after covering Holly in a spare blanket from a cupboard on the wall she indicated for her husband to turn around and they left the room extinguishing the gas lamp on the wall as they left. Holly stirred briefly but stayed in her curled position and held onto James' hand a little tighter as she dropped straight back into deep slumber.

It was still dark in the room when she opened her eyes suddenly; something had disturbed her, but what was it? With heavy lidded eyes she glanced around but the room was still empty and all she could hear was James' steady breathing and the whirring sensor which had been left by his side. She sat up a little straighter wondering why she had been roused from sleep and then it happened again; her hand was squeezed ever so gently and she gasped as she stared first at his hand in hers and then at his eyelids as they fluttered ever so slowly open. "James," she croaked.

"James," said a soft and familiar voice as he attempted to peel his eyelids open; they felt heavy and he was weak but he wanted to open them; he wanted to see the person whispering to him.

"Mmm," was the only noise he could make but the voice shushed him immediately as he felt her soft cool hands touch his head.

"Save your strength," Holly whispered, "you can't talk anyway." She chuckled a little as his eyes finally opened wide, "You have a tube in your throat," she finished thinking they had gone wide because he would not be able to talk.

The room was dark but he could make out the figure of his wife standing over him and looking at his face, "It's good to see your eyes," she said with a sigh, "We thought you'd left us," she finished stroking his hand and tousling his hair. All he could do was stare at her as he tried to remember what had happened; he remembered Holly finding him and overpowering the wizard who held them captive; he remembered her apparating them to…the place where they got married but there was nothing else. "I should go and get a healer, and your Mum and Dad," Holly said letting go of his hand and turning to leave; he tried to call out to her but the tube stopped him. He didn't want her to leave him just yet; he didn't want to see anyone else. But then he remembered everything else; he remembered that she had left him, told him she didn't need him and he remembered that she wasn't there as his wife anymore.

His parents entered the room with sleepy expressions followed closely by a healer who removed the tube from his throat and brought him something to drink; Holly hovered by the doorway and watched until the healer had checked everything and then he was left alone with his family. Harry filled him in on everything that had happened while he was unconscious including the fact that he had stopped breathing and Ginny had assured him that the children were all alright and safe at the Burrow. He asked about Hermione and Holly gasped too; with all the worry about James she had forgotten about his aunt who had performed a dangerous spell which had wiped her out. "Ron popped in to say she has woken up," Ginny explained and Holly let out the breath she had not even realised she was holding, "a lot sooner than she did last time I might add! Ron reckons it was his presence that did it! He'd been away for a month last time and she only woke up when he got back to her so he thinks he has healing hands now because she woke up after twenty four hours! Personally I think she woke up just to tell him to shut it because he never stopped talking to her at all!"

James laughed at her comment and smiled over at his wife who was still hovering in the background. Now that he was awake she felt so relieved and after seeing just his eyes she knew that she had been right and she needed him as her husband; but she was unsure of how to broach the subject with him and still scared of the reaction he might have. She joined in some of the conversation as they kept him company while the sun rose but then he drifted back to sleep and Holly decided she would check on the children and let them know that their father was alive and well, if not quite as fit as usual.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Three days later James had managed to stay awake for a full twelve hours and was looking like his usual self again; with three bottles of blood replenisher inside of him he had got his normal colour back and his wounds had sealed completely, though he would have another few scars to match his earlier ones. Holly had brought the children with her everyday and they had made him feel better too, bouncing around on his bed, hugging and kissing him and even Isabella had come out of her shell when he had convinced her that she was not at fault at all. Her whole ordeal had made her forget being mad with her parents and she was prepared to accept whatever happened between them now. Holly had tended him and brought him anything he needed but they had had no opportunity to speak alone which had given her more reason to avoid the conversation she wanted to have with him, and him more time to realise that nothing had changed. She was quite attentive to him which had confused James at first but he remembered that no matter what she still loved him and he was still the father of her children who had almost died. Holly was caring and always would be but things still stood the same between them as far as he was concerned.

"Mr Potter," said the matron healer as she walked through the door at around six o clock; she had just come on shift and seen that James had stayed awake since half past five that morning so she had come to give him the all clear. "You are looking much fitter and brighter this evening I must say," she said in a jovial voice. "I believe it may be time for us to turf you out of your hospital bed and send you on your way young man!"

"Really?" he asked like an excited child and the five children lolling around on his bed all sat up and stared at him, "I can go home?"

"As long as you promise to take it easy and rest plenty!" she chided with a look which said she knew he wouldn't stick to the instructions willingly, "But you should be able to take care of yourself at home now I think," she chuckled.

"Daddy you're coming home!" Millie screamed excitedly as she jumped to her feet and started to bounce up and down on the bed.

"Yay!" Arthur chimed in jumping up to jump with her. "Daddy's coming home, Daddy's coming home," he chanted and Ellie jumped up to join them before diving onto her father's chest and giving him a hug. Daniel looked pleased too but Isabella made no comment or allowed her face to change at all and James glanced at his wife before answering.

"Well, Darlings," he began motioning for them to stop jumping and sit back down, "what healer Ward means is that I can leave the hospital but I'll be going to stay at Grim-"

"Why don't you just come back to the house?" Holly interrupted and he looked at her quizzically. "For the children," she added without knowing why; at least if he came back to the house they could talk when the children were asleep and maybe…maybe he would take her back. "Please?" she finished as he stared at her in the same way but the three sets of pleading eyes on his bed won him over immediately and he nodded his head at them all; he could stay in the spare room for a few days while they saw that he was better; it would not be forever, he told himself.

They flooed back to the house which was still as it had been left five days ago; they had all been staying at the Burrow out of ease since James woke up so Holly set to work cleaning and tidying straight away while James entertained the others in the living room. They allowed the triplets to stay up a little later than usual but at half past eight their eyelids were drooping and Holly said everyone was to go to bed and get some rest as it had been a long and tiring few days. "I'll sort out these three maniacs," James said rising to his feet and pointing at the doorway and Arthur, Millie and Ellie all started to trudge out ahead of him and climbed the stairs one at a time while Holly, Isabella and Daniel followed on.

He tucked them all in and read a quick story from Tales of Beedle the Bard but they were all in the land of nod before he had even finished it so he extinguished the light in the room and crept out quietly closing the door behind him. He heard Holly on the floor below reading to the other two and he crept down to listen; they too fell asleep quickly and he lifted Isabella up and carried her into her own room while Holly tucked Daniel in. After leaving her room he absentmindedly headed to the second set of stairs to go to his and Holly's room but stopped himself when he saw her standing on the bottom step, "I'll…I'll stay in here tonight," he mumbled turning to walk into the spare room.

He had taken only a few steps when Holly grabbed hold of his hand and carefully spun him to face her. Without a word she stepped closer to him and though she had rehearsed over and over again what she would say to him none of the words would come out and instead she kissed him, tenderly and longingly on the lips. His legs faltered for a second and he did not respond but as her arms wrapped around him he gave in to her and kissed her back with a passion and longing which he had wanted to release since the day he had returned home from his mission. He moaned and stumbled so they broke apart but she kept a tight hold of his hand and started to lead him up to their room. James followed blindly not thinking about what it meant or how it would feel and when they reached the bedroom door he allowed Holly to take him inside and kiss him again still with the same passion and longing as before. She led him over to the bed and sat down pulling him gently with her until she was laid back beneath him and their kiss continued with a little more heat as Holly reached out to unbutton his shirt. He followed suit and ran his hand up the curve of her waist, beneath her thin top but as he reached her breast and felt her lean into him he stopped and drew his head away from hers.

"What's the matter?" she gasped as he opened his eyes to look at her, "James?"

"Holly, what is this? Why are you doing this? I'm confused. I don't want your pity because I almost died Holly, I only ever wanted your love." He moved his body from above hers then and sat on the edge of the bed rebuttoning his shirt before he stood up to leave.

"Don't leave me James," she whispered sitting up on the edge of the bed herself and reaching out for his hand, "I want…I want you to stay with me…I…I need you to stay with me." She gulped as he turned and looked at her but she had to turn her own gaze away in guilt as she continued, "I need you James; more than anything. I was so wrong before. I don't know why I said what I did; I think I was angry because I gave up everything for our family and you carried on but you kept leaving us for longer and longer and I did get used to not having you around. I got used to not having you there and used not needing you for the little things; but… I need you for everything else James; I need you for me. I need you to fill the void in my heart that is always there when you're not. When I thought you might be gone from my life forever I realised how wrong I had been; I can't live without you and while I may not need you for the little things that doesn't mean I don't want you. I want you James and I do need you," she stressed. She chanced a glance at him and saw that he was staring at her, his face expressionless. "I know I hurt you and I know this may not be easy for you so I understand if you can't feel the same way about me now because of what I've done but... I need to know something."

She stopped and swallowed over the lump in her throat; he was still staring at her when she looked up again and she could not read his feelings at all. "On our wedding day you said that you'd give anything up for me but you wouldn't give me up for anything," James nodded his head slowly at her but she looked back down and didn't see the tears clouding his eyes as she went on. "I have to know what I need to do: what do I need to say so you will believe that again?" she sobbed holding back the tears and trying not to look like a pathetic and weepy girl.

James knelt down in front of her and clasped both of her hands within his own before whispering, "You just did it."

"What? How?" she gasped lifting her head and looking into his deep chocolate brown eyes which suddenly looked more alive than they had since he had woken from unconciousness.

"You said you needed me," he replied softly. "When you told me that you didn't need me, that was what hurt the most Holly; I am your husband and we are always supposed to need each other. Not for the nappy changes or for clearing the garden but for each other. It was the hardest thing to hear that you didin't need me, and I knew that it was all my fault-"

"No," she interrupted but he shushed her and placed a finger against her lips.

"It was Holly," he said softly, "I created this life where you thought you didn't need me because you had to get on without me; but it crucified me to know. The only thing in this world you have to do is need me Holly and I will believe anything for you. I need you to need me."

"And I do," she whispered in reply as he leaned up to kiss her, this time with more vigour and even more passion than before and she cried as he pushed her back against the bed and climbed over her covering her form with his own and deepening the kiss they shared.

"Good," he whispered a moment later, "because I certainly need you." With the start of another kiss they frantically pulled at each others' clothes; buttons tore off and material ripped but neither one cared as all they wanted was to be one with each other. They were panting when they were both finally naked and rolled over on the bed until Holly was positioned over James at this point she pulled her head away to look into his face; it was full of lust and passion but also full of love and want and with a sheepish smile she started to touch and explore his body again which she realised she had missed so much. He groaned at her touch and reached out for her, gently massaging her breasts with his hands and hearing her soft gasps as he did. She sought out his lips again and he rolled her over once more positioning himself perfectly to take her but he stopped and looked down at her. "What is it?" she asked seeing the strange look on his face.

"Holly, do you really mean it all?" he asked in a scared voice. "Before we do this are you sure? Because I can't lose you again; it would kill me. I want this so much; but I can't make love to you and then walk away again; I-" she cut him off with her finger which she placed on his lip gently.

"I need you to be my husband James and make love to me like my husband because I will never let you go again," she whispered. "But if you need to take things slowly then we can; I just want to be with you, I… need to be with you." He shook his head and leaned down to kiss her softly. After seeing the smile on her face and the truth in her eyes, he knew she wouldn't lie to him to make him feel better. She had spoken the truth before, or what she had thought was the truth, even though it had hurt them both and he knew she was speaking it now.

"I love you Holly," he whispered as he slowly and gently pushed himself into her making her groan softly and reach out for his neck so she could pull his head down to hers.

It was slow and passionate at first both of them jus trevelling in the feeling of being one with each other after so long, and after what they had been through; with every slow, deep thrust Holly moaned and sighed and James held her tight. They kissed for a long time until finally they both needed their passion to turn harder and stronger as they both cried out in ecstasy and eventually stopped moving as they came together no longer kissing but staring deep into each others' eyes. At that moment, when they were panting raggedly, and wallowing in the feeling of satisfaction, Holly knew more than ever before that she could not live without James as her husband. No matter what he did or where he went she needed him to be one with her and fill her heart with love. "I love you James," she whispered, breaking the silence, and he leaned forwards to kiss her gently one more time before sliding across the bed and pulling her into his embrace.

They lay awake in the dark for a long time holding one another, Holly felt that he would disappear if she let him go and James was just happy to have his wife in his arms again. She caressed the old scars and the new ones on his chest and breathed in his masculine scent while he intermittently kissed the top of her head and sighed. Eventually Holly broke the silence and turned slightly to look up at him before saying, "What will Beerney do when you go back in to work?"

"It doesn't matter," he replied staring back at her.

"But he'll still be angry that we took it all into our own hands, won't he? You could be put on probation for what we…what I did to find you," she said sheepishly as he pulled himself up in the bed and looked down at her.

"Not if I quit," he answered.

"What?"

"Holly, I can't go back there now; not after everything it has done to us," he explained.

"But James," Holly said sitting up and facing him, "I told you, I know now that I need you no matter where you go or for how long; that won't change now I know it."

"I still can't go back though Holly," he continued, "not after putting the children in danger. I should have left the ministry years ago, when I put you in danger because of Malfoy. I can't go on with that job when I know the children could be targeted just as much as you; I won't put any of you through all this again; I can't Holly."

"But James, being an auror is your life; it's always been so important to you."

"No Holly, it was my life until I met you; then you and the children became much more important to me; I just thought I could have both, but I can't; and I have to choose what is most important to me. I won't lose you or the children because of my job it is too high a price to pay for something which takes me away from you all too often. My Dad gave it all up and never regretted it and I should have followed his lead when I settled down with you; aurors don't have wives and families, well not many of them and I know why. I almost lost you just be being away so long and we almost lost our daughter to a man who could have done anything to her and I cannot ever risk that happening again. I am not going back to the ministry Holly so you are going to have to find a way to need me for the little things again because I'm going to be here for them." He smiled at her then and she leaned up to kiss him. He was making sure that she didn't feel guilty about his decision, that she didn't think it was all down to her but she understood completely and knew he had been right all along; he would give anything up for her and he was going to do it.

"I think I can learn to need you like that again," she chuckled as they broke apart, "besides it'll mean I can put my feet up a bit more often!" she laughed as he dragged her over his body and gave her another deep kiss. They both giggled like teenage lovers and Holly felt something hard pushing against her leg as they continued their kiss; "Im not sure the healers will approve of this James; you're not exactly taking it easy!"

"I don't care," he replied kissing her neck. "My wife needs me to pleasure her," he said huskily sounding more like his old self. "At least I hope she does," he added looking down at her.

"She does," Holly replied throatily, "but I need you to be able to do it for a long time to come. Are you sure you are up to it?"

"Who are you asking?" James laughed looking down on her and finally feeling like himself, "I'm always up to it!" With that he pushed his penis harder against her and she reached out to touch it. Holly felt him growl deeply as she slid her hand up and down and tried to guide him towards her. They made love again with more heat and speed this time but were both as satisfied when they lay curled up afterwards in a position they had always favoured after sex. He stroked her waist and kissed her shoulders while she clung to his hand still refusing to let him go for too long.

They were both drifting off into a post coital slumber when a familiar noise disturbed them and their bedroom door creaked open. Turning simultaneously they saw Ellie and Arthur both standing in the doorway with a feint light shining behind them; James sighed and reached out for his trousers while Holly sat up on the bed and picked up a thin robe she kept by the bedside. She donned it quickly and stood up as James whipped his trousers up his legs and stood up to fasten them, "I'll go down to the spare room," he whispered standing up and reaching out a hand to touch his wife.

"No," she answered forcefully before turning to face the children. "Ellie, Arthur," she began in a soothing tone, "you are both big girls and boys now and you don't need to sleep here with Mummy anymore. This is Mummy and Daddy's bed and we can't keep pushing Daddy out of it," she turned to smile at James as she picked Ellie up and took Arthur by the hand. "Come on, we're going back to your beds tonight and I want you to stay there ,okay?" he heard her say as they walked out of the door.

"Yes Mummy," they called in unison and James crept out behind them and followed Holly into their room; after tucking them in and kissing them both they fell immediately back to sleep and she turned back and smiled as she saw James watching.

"They've been through a lot Holly; they could have stayed with you; I don't mind sleeping downstairs," he whispered as they stepped into the landing.

"But I do," she replied taking his hand and leading him back to the bedroom, "we've been through a lot too and you sleeping downstairs is just another thing I got used to. I have to need you in my bed, in our bed and if the children are in it then I stop needing it. We are husband and wife James and we need to share a bed; they are old enough to understand that now," she finished closing their bedroom door as they stepped inside it. "Now, back into bed young man," she ordered, "and without the trousers," she added with a twinkle.

"Yes Ma'am!" James replied with a mock salute to his forehead. "I do like it when you are commanding!" he chuckled as they climbed back into the bed.

"In that case I command that you satisfy me again!" she said in a demure voice as she fluttered her eyelashes and reached out to touch his chest.

"Three times in one night?" he laughed, watching her finger nails scrape up and down his chest.

"Not up to it anymore James Sirius Potter? There was a time when three times would have been nothing! Has ten years of marriage burned you out?" she goaded before withdrawing her hand and laying on the bed facing away from him with a soft sigh.

"I've lost nothing, thank you very much," he growled grabbing her shoulder and turning her back before smothering her with his body and pinioning her arms above her head so he could kiss her hungrily and show her again just how much he was still James Sirius Potter. She giggled at his roughness and pretended to fight back but as his lips found her neck she deflated and allowed him to carefully and slowly caress and pleasure her intimately until they were completely exhausted and fell asleep touching one another like a newlywed couple.


	16. Epilogue

Epilogue

"Hello sexy lady!" James whispered in his wife's ear when he found her clearing up in the kitchen; he was sweaty and dirty after playing quidditch all day in the rain with his cousins at the Burrow. It was late September and all the boys had decided to get the children together and play a mini tournament, which had gone on quite late, and Holly had decided to stay at home and spend the day catching up on housework. She had been tired of late and after returning to work at the Ministry in the muggle relations department a week earlier she had neglected the house a little. Though James was happy to stay at home with the children and take over the role she had played for so long his idea of clean and tidy was not yet up to Holly's standard and she had been looking forward to a day alone to get it just how she liked it. However, the day had not gone quite to plan as she had remembered something shortly after everyone left and had spent most of the day worrying about it instead.

"Eww, James you're all sweaty!" she shrieked when he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tight; she tried to wriggle away but he held her fast and she giggled as he kissed her neck furiously.

"I thought you liked it when I was rough and ready?" he chuckled cheekily in her ear.

"Yeah but not sweaty and muddy! What have you been doing?"

"Well it has rained on and off you know and I had to do a few dives! And…"

"And what?" she asked when he paused and she turned round in his arms to face him wrapping her own around his neck as she did so.

"I fell off," he admitted holding his head down and looking like a young child.

"Aww," she crooned sarcastically and then she chuckled.

"Hey," he pouted, "I hurt myself, you're supposed to give me some sympathy. I got enough taunts from everyone else, even the kids!" he shrieked looking indignant.

"Aww poor James, where did it hurt? Shall I kiss it better?" she teased.

"Right here," he replied quietly pulling back a dirty sleeve and showing her a tiny scratch on his forearm; she looked at it as she would a cut on one of the children's arms and gave it a gentle kiss. "And here," he went on lifting his quidditch shirt and revealing a red patch on his chest which she also kissed tenderly, "and…here," he continued stepping backwards and reaching for the zip of his trousers.

"If you can't reach it by pulling up your trouser leg," she chuckled pushing on his chest, "then you can take care of it yourself!"

"But…" he pouted reaching out for her hand but missing it as she skipped past him and laughed, "I can't do it quite as…as…tenderly as you," he said slyly.

"It'll have to hurt then!" Holly replied, "Where are the kids?" she asked heading into the living room.

"Mum said she'd have them for the night," James answered as he slid across the room and grabbed her in his arms again, "so we're all alone!" he chuckled nibbling at her neck and feeling her lean into him. "So how about I jump in the shower and…maybe you could join me?" he said suggestively wiggling his eyebrow at her.

"Maybe…" she replied quietly, "but," she continued biting her lip and turning to look at him again, "we need to…talk first."

"Oh?" James asked with a cautious look. Since Holly had asked him to come back to her they had been more attentive and intimate with one another than they had been in years but those words still struck a chord inside him and she noticed his face fall a little.

"No, James," she assured him shaking her head and reaching out to touch his face, "not that, I promise. But…" she took his hand and led him into the living room where a warm fire was blazing in the grate and without letting go of his hand she pulled him down beside her on the sofa.

"Are you alright?" he asked noticing her slightly pale face and rubbing her hand gently.

"Well," she coughed as she gazed into his eyes, "I…I don't know," she went on and his heart fell a little.

"Holly are you ill? Have you been to see a healer?" he asked urgently.

"No, no it's nothing like that James," she reassured him with a smile, "but…" she took a deep breath and then continued, "I've been really tired since I went back to work-"

"Understandably," James interrupted.

"Yes…but I don't think that's the reason why," she explained.

"Then…what?" he asked with a curious and completely unaware expression.

"James I…" she paused and took a deep breath, "I think I might be…pregnant." She looked up at him and waited but he simply stared back at her with a bemused expression.

"But…but…how?" he asked blinking at her and trying to judge her own reaction, "I thought you were taking the potion and…"

"I am," she began, "but…when we," she coughed again and continued quietly, "when we split up I…I just stopped, I guess I didn't see the point," she admitted. "I started straight away once you came home," she continued, "but I guess that week sort of made all the difference and…well…" she shrugged her shoulders and smiled. "So what…what do you think?" she asked knowing full well that they had both agreed after the triplets that they didn't want any more children.

"What do you think?" he asked still holding tightly to her hand.

"I…I don't know," she admitted, "I mean I know we said we didn't want any more and…and I've just gone back to work but…but I'm not unhappy about it. I just don't know if it's what we wanted. I suppose I'll be sad to come out of work again now but-"

"Why would you need to do that?" James interrupted.

"Well, a newborn," she said, "I thought you might want me to-"

"Holly, I said I would take care of things so you could do something else and that still stands, whatever comes along. I missed lots of little things with the triplets and if I get a second chance then…then I want to be right here to take it." He smiled at her reassuringly and tugged gently on her hands.

"So you're not…mad?" she asked.

"Why would I be mad?" he asked tugging her forwards and holding her shoulders.

"Well it's unplanned and…"

"It's another child, another one of our children," he whispered stressing the word 'our' "and I could never be mad about that Holly. I love them all dearly and I told you once we would prove to the world we weren't just getting married because of Isabella; we would make lots of babies and show them we were meant to be," he smiled leaning over to kiss her. "What if it's triplets again?" he asked with a gleeful expression.

"If it's triplets again we are selling two of them!" Holly laughed looking at him with a horrified expression. "But seriously," she continued, "Are you happy about this?"

"I'm ecstatic about it," he grinned, "If you are," he added with a wily look.

"I think I am," Holly replied, "I just need to get used to the idea! I never thought I would have six children though."

"You didn't? There was a time I never even thought I would have one!" he laughed as he wrapped his arms around his wife and pulled her gently down on top of him as he laid back on the couch.

"James you're getting mud all over the place," she chided as she looked down at him with a reproachful stare.

"I think we're going to be getting a lot of other messy stuff all over the place soon," he chuckled back as he rolled Holly over and cocooned her beneath him. "And I promise I'll learn to keep up the house to your standards!" he continued as he glanced around at the bit of cleaning she had managed to do in the room.

"Well…I…just like it…" she stuttered biting her lip and looking coyly at him.

"Cleaner than I do it," he finished for her before rubbing her nose with his own and smiling.

"Well…it's just that you've been out of the habit for so long and you don't have quite-" she tried to reason.

"Have the same knack that you do?" he laughed reaching down to tickle her.

"Yes…er…I mean no…I," she spluttered.

"Holly, stop trying," he said with a half smile then he leaned down to kiss her passionately in the lips; she moaned softly at him and wound her arms around his neck and into his hair tugging it gently so his lips crushed hers a little. At the same time James moved his own hands and started to slide them up the bottom of the thin vest top she wore until he closed one over her cupped breast.

"And what might I be able to do for you?" she asked as his fingers tried to make their way beneath the material of her bra.

"Well I thought we might as well make the most of your…situation!" he chuckled hungrily.

"Because we never take advantage when I'm not pregnant?" she laughed.

"Well…" he began kissing her neck and continuing intermittently, "it's…just…that…this…time…we…definitely… know…that…we're safe!" She groaned again instead of answering when he touched her nipple and with her own hands she began to lift up the muddy quidditch top he wore.

"Merlin James the mud's everywhere, what did you do? Roll in it?" she asked as she saw the dried mud which she had just felt on his body.

"Well…" he replied coyly, "I did kind of dump Isabella into it because she was being squeamish!" he admitted and Holly looked at him aghast.

"I bet she loved that!" she shrieked. "Come on," she added chuckling and holding him tight.

"Where?" he asked with a curious expression.

"Into the shower!" she replied with a twinkle in her eye then she planted a kiss on his lips and apparated them both upstairs into the en suite bathroom.

They almost toppled when they landed in the shower tray and Holly giggled as their lips parted so they could steady themselves. With a flick of his wand James turned on the showerhead and cold water gushed out making her scream loudly; he watched her and laughed jumping out of the way before it hit his body but she grabbed his hand and dragged him beneath the stream before it warmed up. "I was intending on getting undressed first," she scolded looking down at her drenched floor length gypsy skirt and t shirt.

"Well the clothes needed a clean too, kill two birds with one stone!" he laughed pulling her against his body and sliding the wet clothes from her body as the water turned warm. She eyed him with a frown and then joined in pulling his garments from his body until they were both naked. They slathered each other in soap and bubbles; their hands slipping and sliding over each others' bodies into intimate places, touching and stroking while they both groaned deeply. James took time to slip his fingers in and around between her legs and eventually she grabbed tight hold of him and cried out; then he wrapped his arms around her from behind; pushed her against the wall of the shower and entered her slowly thrusting himself back and forth until he had released inside her and they were both panting raggedly. "I love you Holly Potter," he panted in her ear while his hands continued to slide all over her body. She turned in his embrace and kissed him longingly showing him that her feelings were the same through a soft intimate gesture. James picked her up in his arms and carried her out of the bathroom to the large, soft, downy bed where he laid her gently down, still wet but happy and satisfied. He clambered up beside her and they lay comfortably with one another, enjoying being alone for a short while without the worry of anyone else but knowing that in a few months time there would be another little someone to worry about too. James slid his hand gently over her rounded abdomen which had never quiet flattened back out after carrying the triplets and he chuckled at her.

"What?" she asked turning to face him and smiling curiously.

"Six children! We're definitely going to beat Victoire in the baby stakes now!" he laughed remembering the days when he had scoffed her for wanting a family as large as their Grandparents'. But he could not be happier about it, James Potter loved every one of his children equally and would still be happy if another six came along; he was a family man and enjoyed every minute of it.

"You're sure that you're okay with it?" she asked coyly stroking his chest with one finger.

"Perfectly," he replied kissing her forehead.

"Even if I go back to work afterwards?" she continued tentatively.

"Holly we already decided this, you're back at work and I'll look after the house and the children, one more will not make a difference!"

"Oh it will," she chuckled, "changing nappies, two hourly feeds and the other five running around as well, it was bad enough when I just had Isabella running around and Daniel in nappies never mind those three tearaways, are you sure you can handle it?" she asked seriously.

"Er…" he said slowly and then with a cheeky smile he added, "so we hire a nanny!" And then he leaned over her with one arm and kissed the most important woman in his life; the woman who he now knew needed him in every possible way and the woman who was going to give birth to his sixth child and complete his growing family.


End file.
